Poland Diary - Some Photographs...

About 1/3 of these photos were taken by other members of the group and do not belong to me (mainly the ones with me in or group pics).

I have no idea if it can be made larger. I'm going to Twitpic some photos later so I'll link up to them on here.

Poland Diary - Status Updates & Tweets

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Just sitting in a random corner at Liverpool Airport.

Found the paprika crisps from Croatia in a random Polish shop :)

Sitting in Krakow"s Old Town talking about slingshots and the Pope.

was with Jess Worrall and 2 others at Hotel Alexander.

Farewell meal with Jess, Jess, Jade, Becky and Emily. Love our little boat racing, Coffee Heaven loving group :)

All packed and ready to go home :(

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Just sitting in a random corner at Liverpool Airport with the Jess, Jess, Jade, Sarah, Pati, Beth + Talor #poland

Just leaving Krakow Airport. Glorious weather.

Having a meal in a cute little traditional Polish restaurant.

Absorbing Krakow's main square with Stevan and Jade. So beautiful.

Had cherry hot chocolate at the Wedel Chocolate Lounge. Now en route to Auschwitz.

Once again just chilling in the Old Square with Jess, Jess, Jade, Bethan, Stevan, Emily + Becky :)

Got a place on Linguastars, in a beautiful city, been making jewellery. Not a bad day.

Terrible at this hotel business. Can't even open a door.

Just watched Bethan unclog a sink with a plastic bag and a hairpin. Actually disgusting.

#SpecialFF @jessicalouisead - currently roaming the corridors of Hotel Alexander wearing a blanket

Breakfast with Jade, @jessicalouisead and Jess W.

At Wawel Castle. It's not raining. Hurrah!

Quick blog from here in Kraków

I think the man I just talked about in my blog post had something going on with the reception lady. Oooooh...

The man is somebody's driver. He just gave the rest of his ice lolly to reception lady. Can you tell I'm bored?

At the Rocking Horse restaurant.

Phone is dying. Should probs turn it off. Group competition later. Too tired.

I also don't want to go home. My Krakow friends are actually awesome and we're so similar

Saying goodbye to Hotel Alexander. Must not cry today but already emotional. Meh.

Tour guide walks in and says hello. My response? Hiiiii. Why am I so weird?

Running Scared is playing on Polish radio. Day = made.

Yeah it's cool easyJet, just open my suitcase and send it to the carousel with stuff hanging out...

Poland Diary - Sunday 3rd July, 2:48pm, Plane to Liverpool

After giving them their gifts I went upstairs and packed. I didn’t really understand why Jade and the others went back so early to pack because it only took me about 10-15 minutes…not two hours. To be honest, I do think it was a bit of an excuse from some people (alright, someone) but I guess it doesn’t matter now anyway. I enjoyed my evening with Jess enough to not care. I listened to my iPod for a while before bed to try and wind down a bit before trying to sleep. It was kind of good to know where everything was. I’m pretty sure I haven’t left anything. The only thing I couldn’t find was a travel adapter and Sarah and Steph found it this morning once I’d locked my suitcase. At least I won’t get shouted at for losing it now.

I was first down to breakfast again this morning (well, excluding Nigel who has never actually had breakfast with the rest of us at all) and I think I’ve really appreciated that in the past two days - being in a big group 24/7 really wound me up in Croatia and it was no different in Poland. Plus it was nice to get the watermelon before it started to dry out (ha, how sad…) Sarah and Steph came down after about five minutes and it was nice to eat just as roomies for the last breakfast. They both introduced themselves to Nutella and Sarah decided she’ll be stopping at the shop on the way home to buy some. Honestly… When we were upstairs we took some pictures together too. Steph is really lovely, and it really hasn’t mattered that we didn’t know each other. Even though I experienced it in Croatia last year, it still surprised me how I could get along so well with people I didn’t know. I’ve enjoyed the company of people I didn’t know more than that of my actual friends, but to be honest that wasn’t a great surprise considering I wasn't around them as much for most of the trip.

Sidenote: the teachers all just turned round to stare at me. Awkward…

Anyway, we all finished packing our things we’d needed overnight then went downstairs and handed in our key for the last time (sob sob). I won’t be sad to leave our broken shower and duvets that unravel themselves… We pretty much took over the whole of the reception with all our suitcases and hand luggage as it was just everywhere.

While I was sitting downstairs waiting for Steph to go up and finish packing (I eventually left her and went up alone), Nigel came and sat with me and thanked me again and told me that it was a perfect gift. Aww. He then told me to keep in touch, saying “I have Facebook, you know.”

Anna, our tour guide, turned up, followed shortly by two mini buses - I sat with Jade again. Everybody was saying how they don’t want to go home and even though I’m on the plane it still doesn’t feel like I am. College is going to be awful in comparison. We camped out on the floor next to check-in for about half an hour. We checked in, went through security and then went into the departures lounge bit for gate 3. We sat there for a while and I wrote in here but it didn’t seem as long as it was. I sat on the floor to write because I had nothing to lean on sitting on the chair and got lots of ‘you’re odd’ looks from people. Haha. Stevan was obviously watching me write/reading what I was saying over my shoulder from the chair behind me. Weirdly, I wasn’t very bothered by it. Then, we were allowed to queue up for boarding even though people were still leaving the plane from the plane to Kraków. We all had to squash together in the queue to make sure we got through together. We got transported to the plane by a shuttle bus like when we arrived although it kept having to stop as the plane still wasn’t ready. We all debated which way we should run to get to sit together and when we eventually could get off everybody ran to the plane. We’re currently all (mainly) sat together at the front of the plane. I’m with Bethan and Stevan; Jade, Jess and Jess are behind.

I feel like I’ve really been myself again for these last few days. I’ve just been happy and have felt like people wanted to be around me rather than avoiding me like some people. I mentioned something like this earlier and Fiona sounded surprised that I don’t like some of my friends (sometimes), but like Jess said last night, it’s hard to do anything about a situation like that, which is just rubbish because it means you’re just unhappy. Plus, I think our random religion conversation has, for some reason, given me some renewed hope. But I do wish we could just stay in our little Poland bubble forever…

Poland Diary - Sunday 3rd July, 12:09, Gate 3, Kraków Airport

After breakfast yesterday morning we headed out walking to another part of town to visit Wawel Castle. We also got told we were going to another traditional Polish restaurant in the evening so I was a bit apprehensive after the whole fish/vegetarian debacle in the Chata restaurant on the first night. We walked around the castle and took some pictures (including a bunch in front of the Pope statue where I wasn’t really smiling because I couldn’t see…bet I look fun on those pictures…) From there we paid to go down a tower into a cave called Dragon’s Den. Loads of people took pictures but, seen as every single family holiday I go in involves going into a cave, I think I only took two. It took us out to the river Vistula where we went on boats down the river, eventually ‘racing’ each other (we won :P) - on our boat there was: Jade, me, Jess, Bethan, Emily, Becky, Stevan, Nigel Jess and Fiona (I tried to do that in order of who was sitting where but I can only remember half of it). 

We then walked back to the Square to get lunch. Me, Bethan and Stevan went to get bread (brilliantly inventive lunch) and corn from a stall and Jade walked off and left us without bothering to tell us where she’d gone. It annoyed us a bit because we weren’t supposed to go off alone at all, and she’d said she’d only be a minute. She later texted saying she was in Coffee Heaven with Jess and Jess. We all had to do group quizzes so we ran around all afternoon doing it then Jade and I went into St Mary’s Basilica. Everything was so detailed and beautiful - especially the stained glass windows - so it was annoying we couldn’t stay long. But, I’m glad I got to go (another Lonely Planet recommendation).

We got to go back to the hotel for about two hours but I couldn’t be bothered changing so I just sorted my make up out and sat in reception. For some reason, I just felt rubbish, and I had to sit down there to calm myself down. I ended up connecting to the wi-fi and doing a much needed blog post - it was mainly just a rant about being annoyed but it felt so good to write it and then post it. Fiona was also sat down there using the internet on her phone. I observed some random exchanges between the friendly receptionist lady and a random taxi driver…they shared an ice cream.

We went to Rocking Horse, the restaurant, and I was sat with Jess, Jess, Jade, Becky and Emily. We finished the group quiz, which was won by Jess, Jess, Becky and Emily then went back to the Square for one last time. Jade decided it would be a clever idea to change her mind about coming shopping with me and went back to the hotel. There was an awkward five minutes where all the teachers, myself, Jade, Jess and Jess were all standing in a circle trying to figure out who would stay with me instead of going back. Jess A volunteered even though she really didn’t feel well at all. We set off walking to the shops to go and finish souvenir buying and I randomly just started crying, so we went and sat on a bench and talked for about half an hour, which was so nice and we’re so similar. Everything she said I agreed with and vice versa. We decided to get thank you presents for Nigel, Lindsay and Fiona…one small problem though, everything closed for the festival. We managed to get Nigel a notebook and pencil from Empik (I say managed, because we were in there for AGES), and three gift bags, and eventually our favourite ‘Pope card’ shopkeeper reopened so we managed to get Lindsay and Fiona a dragon keychain and a pen each. The shopkeeper gave us some more Pope cards which we gave all but two of to Nigel again. While waiting for the shop to reopen we went and had one last coffee in our favourite little coffee shop. We had a nice little chat. The others all came back 'drunk' again. Great. There's nothing better than sharing a room with people who've been drinking...

When we went back to the hotel we asked the teachers to hang behind to give them their gifts but once we were back at the hotel, Jess got embarrassed and ran off…not embarrassing for me at all… They liked their gifts though, so it wasn’t so bad. They seemed genuinely surprised too, which was nice. When we were walking back from the Square, Fiona had asked me what I’d bought and I’d had to reply ‘stuff’ twice because I obviously couldn’t say what it actually all was. Nigel hugged me, which Jess found rather amusing when I later went to her room and told her what had happened. Sarah and Steph had clearly been drinking a lot more than the first night of them being drunk, so I quickly went to bed. Sarah did decide to leave the air conditioning on all night, though, so it took ages to get to sleep because it was SO noisy.

Poland Diary - Saturday 2nd July, 9:40ish, Reception, Alexander 1 Hotel

I was the first down to breakfast this morning and it was nice to have some space. I’m now just sitting in reception away from everybody else so I get time to write. Someone just asked if I was waiting for the receptionist and she just responded “she’s writing” - reception is clearly the place to be if I want leaving alone. I’m currently filling in the bits I didn’t get chance to write about from the Auschwitz visit.

Poland Diary - Friday 1st July, 12:13am, Room 46, Alexander 1 Hotel

This morning we were up by 7:30 and I washed my hair. Not the best or easiest shower in the world, but it could have been a stream halfway up a mountain so I’m not complaining, especially after yesterday. We all boarded the coach in the pouring rain and headed to the Jewish Quarter. We saw the graveyard and then went into the only active synagogue left in Kazimierz. The pieces of epitaphs that made up the wall fascinated me. Anna told us that when it had been destroyed, the pieces had survived but because they didn’t know who they belonged to, they compiled them all into one memorial. From there, we went to the Schindler’s Factory museum, which was insanely long. Anna spent ages explaining things but nobody really knew what she was talking about, it seemed. Lots of us all agreed it wasn’t what we were expecting, in that everything was replicated or ‘what they imagined it might have been like’.

We then went back to the hotel and out to get lunch. We then went back in Empik and I bought some beads and elastic. I started the day pretty annoyed at how everybody was just bitching and moaning about each other and telling made up stories to cause trouble (particularly between me and my friends). It’s just pathetic and completely immature. I did a good job of staying out of it all, though, with the exception of a small moan to Nigel when he picked up that I wasn’t in a great mood and asked me about it. We had tea at Mamma Mia again (this time with Becky and Emily too) then went back to the hotel, where I sat on Jess, Jess and Bethan’s floor.
 
Our ghost walk tour guide, Jacek (I think his name badge said that, anyway), met us at the hotel later in the evening. The tour itself was pretty dull but Pati, Jade and Nigel just messed about and made everyone laugh so we all got into it eventually - not too hard when the tour guide clearly had no idea what he was doing. It all culminated with us being taken into a random dark room and a randomer jumping out at us. To say I have major issues with the dark, I was one of the only people that didn’t scream and/or run for the door. Jade did decide it best to stand on me, though :(

After that, me, Jess, Jess, Jade, Stevan, Bethan, Emily, Becky and Pati all went to Coffee Heaven (me, Jess, Jess and Jade has been earlier in the afternoon as well). I had a caramel macchiato, which was way too nice. We spent ages in there, probably annoying all of the other customers with our constant laughter and the loudness of certain people probably didn’t help either. We then walked around and has a really good night overall, and we all seem to have bonded as a little group. On the way back to the hotel, we managed to lose Nigel…who we were later told was hiding somewhere to try and scare people. When in Poland…

Poland Diary - Thursday 30th June, 11:32pm, Room 46, Alexander 1 Hotel

This morning started with getting up at 7:20pm and rushing to get ready to go out with Jade and Pati to get Jade’s money changed…before finding out that we couldn’t until 9am because it wouldn’t actually be open. Luckily, we’d already been woken up at something like 6:30 by bin men outside, so it’s not like I got up specifically for it. We all showered and went down for breakfast. I had watermelon and a bread roll with fruit juice and sat with Jade and Pati. I have a bit of a thing about having watermelon for breakfast… We then got ready and headed into the Square again.

Me, Jade and Pati wandered around together but we all went up into the tower at St Mary’s Basilica first. By the time we’d reached the top it had gone from dry sunshine to just pure rain. Still, it was fun looking out of the windows at the top and watching rainy Kraków down below. I was oddly proud of myself for managing it without having a near panic attack (wish I was joking, but I'm not).

After that, we did some souvenir shopping and then hunted down Wedel Chocolate Lounge to have some hot chocolate like I saw in Lonely Planet magazine. I had the milk chocolate and cherry hot chocolate and it was so rich but so nice. It cost about 12z for it, which was roughly £4...expensive for a hot chocolate over here but over there it somehow seemed cheap. We then walked back to the hotel. From there we got ourselves sorted and on the coach to Auschwitz with our ‘proper’ tour guide, Anna. It took about two hours overall. Anna had us watching a film about what happened there all the way, it was all generally not too horrific to watch, until the parts where they showed people examining dead babies and children. For me, that was the wake up call about what we were going to experience.

When we reached the Auschwitz I Museum, we were given headphones and Agata, the tour guide for the afternoon, described everything we saw. At first, it was strange to physically be in a place that I had seen before in pictures and just seen on a film. I really didn’t like having to wear the headphones at first, firstly I have major issues with headphones like they were staying on my head, and secondly, I don’t like listening to something (like music) while I’m walking. I don’t know, I like to be aware of what’s going on around me, I guess. Probably something that stems from having to walk home in the dark over winter. After a while, something struck me. Although probably not the intended purpose, listening to the commentary through headphones made it a very personal, solitary experience. I suppose you could talk to those with you if you so desired, but it seemed somehow disrespectful. 

We got shown around all of the buildings. The first buildings we went in mainly just described what had been happening at the beginning and we saw lots of things like postcards that had been preserved and, of course, photographs from the time. We then went in the ‘Material Proof of Crime’ building, Block 5, which I really did not like. There were certain parts of the building where photography was not permitted, but some people in the group still tried to take pictures. There was just a whole wall that had one long display cabinet full of human hair. It was almost too surreal to understand. The thought that all of that hair belonged to so many different people is sickening. I couldn’t help but wonder why it was decided that it should be put on display. We also went into an entire room full of shoes which was also surreal. I found myself mainly just fixating on certain objects and trying to understand the fact that yes, it did really belong to a person. One day, a long time ago, somebody was wearing that shoe, and now it is on display to demonstrate the cruel reality of their life. Lots of the group found the section with baby clothes and shoes the worst - I know Lindsay definitely didn’t go in but I don’t know about anybody else. Somehow, when it’s about a child, it’s so much more horrific. I guess it’s about the fact that they didn’t really live…that their innocence was taken away. There was also a room full of suitcases that have names, arrival dates and death dates of all the people they belonged to - they were all different ages, some just children again.

We also went into prison cells, were shown ‘living’ quarters and finally, the gas chamber. We were told to look for the ‘vents’ in the ceiling from which the gas was leaked. As we looked up, it was just like a tiny little window in the ceiling. In Media, we’ve discussed the concept of light being used to symbolise hope quite a lot. Standing in the gas chamber, staring at the ceiling, that simple concept couldn’t have seemed more contradictory.

The coach then took us about 5 minutes away to Auschwitz II-Birkenau. We were told that, generally, it is the camp that provokes the most emotion. I think I knew I wouldn’t cry, and I didn’t. Only just. Although I know it was more than likely due to the humidity and weird weather we’d been experiencing (sun > torrential rain > no rain > warmth + torrential rain etc), the entire camp seemed to be drained of air. It was there that I began to see the rain as less of an annoyance, but simply as appropriate. We went into more barracks and saw more ’living’ quarters. We then had a ’break’ while the tour guide and the teachers went off and, presumably, argued about the tour guide being awkward. Some of the group quickly jumped at the tension and immediately began speculating about what was going on. To be honest, I really couldn’t have cared less. I wanted to say something like “you’re at one of the most historical places in the entire world, is lame gossip all you can think about?” but I didn’t. Firstly, it wasn’t worth it, and secondly, even though it irritated me, weird behaviour could be forgotten given that it was a completely surreal day. We then walked all the way down the train track to the bottom where the memorials and crematorium remains are located. At the memorial site, a large group of Israeli soldiers were holding a service, we were told. The most poignant moment of the whole day came when I was walking behind most of the group, listening to the service (even though I obviously don’t speak Hebrew or Yiddish…) and the person speaking began singing what I can only assume was some form of Jewish hymn. It was somehow haunting and, even though I understood none of it, communicated the pain and suffering of the victims there. I did understand one word spoken, milim (words). Also poignant, for me, because I realised that there literally are no words that can describe it. Nothing will do it justice. The soldiers had all placed candles along the train track and the train carriage. All I wanted to do was walk slowly and take them all in.

And then, somehow, we reached the coach again and before we realised, we had left. Some people slept but, even with the ridiculous wake up call from the bin men and the day of walking, I couldn’t find it within me to be tired.

This evening we all (minus Nigel, Lindsay and Fiona) went to Mamma Mia, an Italian restaurant round the corner from the hotel. I sat with Jade, Stevan, Bethan, Jess and Jess. To be honest, I was relieved to be away from the people wanting to drink because I think that was why I felt a bit left out during the meal on the first night. I was especially pleased to hear Josh Groban and Nelly Furtado - Silencio - playing in the background while we ate. We then all went into the Square and got some ice cream (I had apple and cherry…my favourite) and went in a department store (Empik) then we all sat and talked. A lot of the group went out drinking again and it was obvious that the teachers weren’t exactly impressed with them all when they got back (including Fiona doing a very stern midnight room check, haha). Luckily for me, Sarah was just doing that ridiculous ‘I’m going to act drunk because everybody else is’ thing and I didn’t have to share a room with two drunk people, but it really annoyed me/I practically ran for the key and then up to the room to try and get organised before they both got in. Hmm. I recall telling Jade I’d refuse to sleep in there if they were too drunk. Ha.

Poland Diary - Wednesday 29th June, 11:21pm, Room 46, Alexander 1 Hotel

We landed at Kraków Airport about 20 minutes early and had to wait a little for our tour guide, Joanna (no idea of spelling), because of how early we were, which was fine. I wish I could remember Jade’s reaction to her first sighting of Kraków once we were outside the airport, I think it was something like “Poland has a lot of car parking spaces”. It was nice and warm and, surprisingly, not at all rainy (unlike what we were told on the plane). On the plane I ended up talking to the woman next to me (I always seem to meet chatty women on planes…) who was a teacher from a school in Liverpool.

We had a 40 minute coach journey to the hotel and then we got divided up into rooms and we unpacked. After that we got showered (ours has a lovely cigarette burn in the bottom…classy) and got ready to go out for our meal at the traditional Polish restaurant - Chata. They prepared a special vegetarian meal for me…of fish. Cue first awkward Poland moment. I managed not to go into a rant about vegetarians vs. pescatarians and just explained that I don’t eat fish…and after a while the waiter came back and told me I could have Russian dumplings. Clearly, I didn’t have a choice, so I accepted that offer. It did mean waiting until everybody else on my table had finished eating before I could have my meal, but I’m strangely used to that after birthday meals gone wrong etc. The meal itself wasn’t as bad as expected, we had a vegetable/rice soup to begin, Russian dumplings for me and chicken with sauerkraut and potatoes for the others, and some form of apple cake for dessert. My response at the time, when asked by Lindsay, was “well, it’s not terrible”, which was true, it could have been a lot worse and I tried everything, which was the main point. It was such a cute little restaurant and it was fun to experience something traditional. The only issue I really had was that I got left out by pretty much all (not all, though, thankfully) of my table all evening except for when my main meal finally arrived and they all watched me. Great. Cue awkward Poland moment number two…

From there, we walked around Main Square and had free time. I went with Jade and Stevan because we didn’t want to drink and everybody else went off drinking. It wasn’t exactly the best situation because we’d all been approached by a random Polish man with drinks vouchers who took them all down an alley to a club. We later found out it wasn’t exactly as bad as we were all imagining, thankfully, but we were still a little worried for them all. Luckily, they had Pati (the native Polish speaker). The three of us took lots of pictures and sat and talked for a while which was nice. I’m now back in the room with Sarah and Steph and we’re thinking about going to bed.  

Poland Diary - Wednesday 29th June, 2:23pm, Plane to Kraków

Been in the air for just over an hour (I think). I’m sitting with Sarah and a woman I don’t know. Jade and Pati are behind us and Beth and Talor are two rows in front. We’re all spread out all over the plane but I don’t think anybody in our group had problems getting a seat.

When our gate number (1) appeared, we all went and queued for what seemed like ages before we could finally get on the plane. It probably wasn’t all that long to be honest, but having a dad who refuses to fly means I’ve only ever flown three times (six if you count both ways) and have never had a flight longer than 3 hours.

So far, all of us girls except 3 are generally alright with being in a large group together. I doubt it’ll stay that way, but at the moment it’s fine. The other two girls went off together a lot and Bethan generally stuck with Stevan. I definitely think my experiences with Croatia are helpful because if I didn’t have that experience, I’d probably find it a lot harder.

Fern texted me earlier to tell me that a certain two people have been annoying her. NOT surprising because one of them is beyond irritating 24/7. I’m glad to get away from it all for a few days to be honest.

First impressions of things so far - Pati, Jess and Jess are all lovely. We’ve just been chatting to whoever we’re with which definitely reminds me of Croatia. It strikes me that when in a situation like ours, people just automatically bond and get along well, plus we’re all older and nobody seems like that stereotypical high school bitchy girl sort of person so I think we’re alright.

Update - 2:50ish
    - Just been told we’re flying over what we think is Cologne (Germany) and we’re 20 mins ahead of schedule. Sarah’s playing games on my iPod and we’re in a bit of turbulence as it’s raining in Poland. Apparently it’s 19*C though, so not all bad :)

Poland Diary - Wednesday 29th June, 12:24am, Liverpool John Lennon Airport

Currently sitting on the floor by a lift with Jess, Jess, Jade, Sarah, Pati, Beth, Talor, Lauren, Eliza, Steph and Amy. A few of us have taken pictures etc and we’re waiting to find out which gate we’re at. I seem to spend 90% of my waiting time in airports sitting on the floor somewhere…

This Time of Year

First, some quick admin. I will type up my Poland stuff at the weekend and hopefully post it all then, staggered over Saturday, Sunday and Monday. I go to 'language camp' at the University of Leeds on Tuesday - Wednesday then am in college all day Thursday, so there won't be any blogging until Thursday evening or Friday. 

Tonight, something is on my mind. This time last year I was preparing for my World Challenge. This year, I will spend the 9th at the University of Hull. Last year, I spent the 9th in school, then on a coach, then at Brunel University. It's amazing how those two situations can seem so similar and yet be miles away in reality. Last year, I was officially on World Challenge, about to go on the 'experience of a lifetime', and this year I am going to an open day. 

Last year, everything was, for some reason, just so...alive. I was leaving school, going to prom, going to Croatia, starting college. This year, everything is just ongoing, nothing's changing. I went to Poland and it was absolutely amazing, and then I've been thrown back into this strange world of deadlines and organising things and needing to be in 4 places at the same time. I don't like it, and this would surprise most, if not all, people I know. 

Don't get me wrong, I love my role as NCP Amnesty President and as the Layout Editor for Working Title. I love my (slightly unprofessional/pointless) SOS training because I genuinely never want anybody to have to feel like I did when I started college and the thought of being able to help with that is greatly satisfying. But, and this is the important bit, sometimes it feels like I'm doing these things to please everybody but myself. And I don't want to sound whiny and self-important, but it's not like anybody (I'm talking peers here, family and teachers etc do absolutely everything they can in my experience) is ever willing to do much in return. 

OK, so that's a great exaggeration, but at least a tiny little bit of it is true. Going to Poland gave me a taste of what feeling alive is like, and I'm not sure I want go back to my depressive state of October, November, December, January and February...and April. I want to actually live this summer and feel fulfilled by everything that's going on. I want to go to France and converse with French people in my crazy, mangled phrasebook French a bit like I did in Poland (where 'dziękuję' was pronounced differently every time I said it). I want to properly learn some Swedish. I want to analyse Spanish poems and then, when all that's done, I want to just be.

While we're talking about Spanish poems. I found one today that is easily my favourite poem ever. It goes as follows:

El Balcón - Federico García Lorca

Si muero
Dejad el balcón abierto


En niño come naranjas
(Desde mi balcón lo veo)


El segador siega el trigo
(Desde mi balcón lo siento)


Si muero
Dejad el balcón abierto


I believe it's something about looking down from heaven on all of the things going on down below. Amy thought it was about suicide, but I interpreted it in a completely different way. Anyway, I think there's something different about Spanish poetry and lyrics in that it's all a complete mystery, and you have to really think about the language and all of the different meanings it can have. I'm interpreting ''el balcón'' (the balcony) as being heaven here, and ''dejad el balcón abierto'' (let the balcony open) as being heaven opening. I don't know, that's just how I viewed it. What do you think?


Besos ♥ 
Rachel

Poland ♥

Hi guys :) I'm finally home now and still not caught up on my sleep. Starting tomorrow I'm going to post all my diary entries (edited slightly because I've missed LOADS out) like I did last year. Today though, I just want to talk and talk and talk about how amazing it was.

Firstly, and most importantly, I feel like I've found myself again. I said earlier that I felt like I'd lost myself since at least September and only now do I feel normal. I actually owe most of this to one person in particular. Well, perhaps two actually. But one conversation in particular for sure.

On the last night we had, Jess (A) and I ended up walking around Kraków main square together. Jade and Jess (W) had abandoned us despite saying they'd come with us (well, that was mainly Jade to be honest) so Jess came with me and we ended up sitting on a bench while I cried and Jess felt like she was going to throw up. We had such a lovely, lovely conversation and it was like every single thing I've felt for so long she was feeling too. And I know that's not a good thing, but I didn't feel alone anymore, and I've been so tired of feeling alone. Then today she rung me and we sat together in our after lunch free :)

I also had several random conversations with Nigel, my Psychology teacher, that made me smile, including him asking me about my travel diary and telling me to make sure we keep in contact when he leaves - ''You know, I'm on Facebook''.

Being in college this morning was so surreal, though perhaps slightly normalised by the fact that I had Psychology first thing. I went up early because I simply couldn't be bothered trekking to the common room then all the way up to the classroom in my sleep deprived state. We had an awkward conversation about my suitcase harrassments (see my tweets from yesterday) and feeling ill/generally rubbish...the awkwardness being due to the fact that he kept telling everybody about what happened. Not embarrassing at all...

So yes, diary entries as of tomorrow. 

Besos ♥ 
Rachel

Poland Update

So, I'm writing to you live from the reception of Hotel Alexander, here in Krakòw, Poland. I'm going to properly update when I get back either tomorrow or Monday. This week has literally just been insane - Auschwitz/Birkenau, ghost tour, realising that my 'friends' aren't really very friendly. The list could go on.

Tonight is our last day/night, and I guess right now I'm a little emotional because it's been so good and I'm going back to a life that's just...not. Tomorrow evening I'll be thrust back into the world of family arguments and false friends and being stressed and it just makes me feel ill just thinking about it.

Right now, the group of girls that my roomies are friends with are all in my room so I've been forced out. I went to Jess, Jess and Bethan's room but I'm not feeling very social so I came down here to blog. I told the others I was checking my email...never mind. I can hear Bethan and Stevan now, actually. They must be on the stairs. Fiona (one of the teachers) is sat on the opposite side of reception taking advantage of the free wifi too, and a man just walked past, smiled and said something random in Polish. He's now shining his shoes next to the lift. I don't even know... More soon. R x

Hi, neglected blog :)

Like the title? It's arguably the most appropriate right now. So, was back at college last Monday, had all of the Amnesty stuff to deal with and then it's been fairly quiet so far. Although, exciting news, the Amnesty group *were* at 27 on the Youth Raise Off table with the last piece of post we received, and that's before they received the rest of our donations for the year. I'm excited to see our final placing when it's all finalised at the end of June.

I go to Poland this Wednesday through until Sunday, so unless I can access the internet in a café or something, I won't be blogging then either. As with Croatia, I'll be keeping a diary then typing it all up and posting it afterwards though. We're visiting Auschwitz, Schindler's Factory and a few other places, plus going on a ''hilarious'' ghost tour, apparently. I met one of my room buddies today for the first time, so that was nice, plus she seems lovely. Luckily we both know our other room buddy, Sarah :)

Today was RIDICULOUSLY hot. College was literally like an oven all day. Except for the language lab which is always cool because it has air conditioning. I was in there twice, thank goodness! I spent the afternoon sitting on the floor in my dad's office reading puntoycoma and reading all about one random man's experience of visiting Iran. I probably added to the insanity of the Wakefield Decorator's office, to be honest. I've got a bunch of rock my uncle gave me earlier in my bag, actually, I dread to think how melted it is...

I may be back tomorrow, if not, have a good week and I'll see you when I'm back from Poland :)


Besos ♥ 
Rachel

Back to College

Monday was 'back to college day'. Meh. I hate that place with a passion. Apparently, one of the SLT just left to open a B&B for gay people. The place is also literally just a building site at the moment, D block is having building work done, A block is having building work done and, better yet, C block is being...demolished. Wow. It really is an ancient building though, and everything is just yellow. Ew.

I don't really have anything interesting to write. I've just finished a class presentation on D'Nash that me and Amy have to present tomorrow period 1 :) James (@Juicioo on Twitter) listened to the songs we were considering for our ''lyric quiz'' and I think it's safe to say he likes them, haha :) I have, however, had 'A-Amanda' stuck in my head since Tuesday. I personally think instead of presenting the PowerPoint, we should just teach everybody the dance moves from the video, but whatever...


Oh, yeah, Amnesty office. Ha. What a joke. Basically, next year we have to share it with the Geography department. I wouldn't mind as much, but one of the staff in the department is none other than my tutor, Tim. Awkwaaaard. We've had to move loads of stuff down into an unused classroom while Geography moves in a bit and then we'll have to move it all back. What a farce. Especially since Jade and I go to Poland next Wednesday and then Tim goes to India with World Challenge on the 4th. None of us have planned this well...


Other than all of that, this week had been both rubbish and dull. I'm thinking of making another appointment with the counsellor because I need to vent and have nobody to vent to. Hmm.

Besos ♥ 
Rachel