Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

An alternative title to this post would be 'Missing', because I am. I miss absolutely everything about Croatia and the experience I lived through.

I miss the complete sense of adventure that was constant and empowering. I've never been an adventurous person but looking back on the trip, I realise now that I LOVED the feeling that each day was going to bring a new adventure and I enjoyed looking back on the day remembering the various adventures we'd all had. It was exciting knowing that I was completely at one with nature but not really caring or needing to care.

I miss having 16 people to talk to 24/7 about anything and everything whenever I wanted. Considering the fact that I barely knew anybody before the trip, I feel like I really got close to people whilst we were there and I miss talking to new people a lot and finding out things about them all. We never talked about anything that made much sense usually but when we got time to ourselves on the buses we had really deep conversations and I loved that.

I miss the campfire we had on the last wild campsite night more than anything else right now. I remember closing my eyes for a second and honestly knowing that there was nowhere else on earth I would rather be and if I could go back to that night I definitely would without a shadow of a doubt.

I expected that World Challenge would change me. I expected that I'd grow up a bit and feel a bit different but I never expected that I'd miss the physical aspects of it or the fact that we were just outside all of the time. Now I'm home, I want to go out and do things and spend my time being fulfilled. Teachers always told me to believe in myself and that I could do anything etc and I never believed them (despite the fact that my grades proved I could...) until now. I have climbed a mountain and kayaked across the sea - I can do anything I set my mind to. I was talking to a girl called Shannon whilst we were there who said she felt like she'd got her drive back and I feel like I have too. It's like suddenly there are a million and one things I want to do and I just need to figure out how to set about doing them.

More than anything though, I've realised that there's a big world out there and I want to see as much of it as I can - and when I get the chance, nobody is going to stop me. I want to meet people and experience things in a similar way to how I did in Croatia. I want to know people like Slaven who were interesting and had incredible stories to share. I want to see sights such as the waterfall we saw at the Zrmanja River and feel the icy cold water over and over again.

I think I now have ambition that I was perhaps lacking in before the expedition. So, right now I'm sitting, waiting and wishing on what my future holds and how I can make it all happen. My food/business teacher told me she didn't need to wish me luck because I make my own, and I kind of believe her...

Besos ♥
Rachel