Thursday 31 March 2011

You should all listen to

February Song - Josh Groban
All This Time - OneRepublic
Bumpy Ride - The Hoosiers
De Mi - Camila
En Medio de la Calle - D'Nash
Underneath the Stars - Kate Rusby
I Need You Around - Rosie Doonan
On the Same Side - James Morrison
At Or With Me - Jack Johnson
Drowned - Tim Minchin
Closer To Love - Mat Kearney
Please Don't Stop the Rain - James Morrison
Dangerous - James Blunt
Streetlight - Joshua Radin
If I Walk Away - Josh Groban
Washed By the Water - Needtobreathe
Lloro Por Ti - Enrique Iglesias
We Are Golden - Mika
Live Like We're Dying - The Script/Kris Allen
All At Once - Jack Johnson
Paradothika - Sakis Rouvas
Manboy - Eric Saade
Yes Man - Bjorn Johan Muri
Fly Away - Daniel Powter
Hey, Soul Sister - Train
Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol
Ella - Sandoval
Yo Quiero - Camila
Weeping - Josh Groban with Ladysmith Black Mambazo
Carry On - Ben's Brother
Wordplay - Jason Mraz
Chosen One - One eskimO
Come On Get Higher - Matt Nathanson
Tomorrow - Mat Kearney
Bang On the Piano - Jack McManus
Solo Para Ti - Camila
Glow - Ben's Brother


I could give you more, but I think that'll do for now. If you do listen to any of them, let me know what you think :)


Besos
Rachel 


Wednesday 30 March 2011

No point in moving on if you can't let go

The college bus never fails to fill me with intrigue. I find it amusing that pretty much every single person from my year at school that now goes to my college catches the same bus (LOTS of us) even though it'd be easier for some to catch others. 

It's almost been a year since I left school. That sentence alone is a scary one to write. I'm scared of forgetting how good it was, I'm scared that all of my negativity towards college will just cloud the 5 years that led me to it and I'm scared that college will change me. Laura, a girl I used to work on the school newspaper, Press Gang, with just over a year ago and for many year before that, has started uploading photos to her Facebook in a similar way to how I did last year. I became obsessed with capturing every little moment left of school in photographs, and while I'm SO glad that I did, I know I probably won't look at many of them much ever again.

My final Poland payment is due next Friday, for some reason, tonight, all of a sudden I'm reminded of my World Challenge fundraising. I'm reminded of that moment when I finished my fundraising. I'm reminded of how much lighter my life was when I no longer had to be concerned about fundraising. I'm reminded of my friend Poppy, and how she leaves for India in July sometime, and how she's got the best experience she may have for many years right around the corner for her, and I'm so excited for her to discover the things I did.

I guess I'm just in one of those moods where you just seem to spend a lot of the day reminiscing, I haven't had one of those days in a while. It was probably brought on by an email I sent last night...and will probably end with me getting my box of school stuff out on Friday evening and remembering everything.

College makes everything seem so uncertain, though even though I've wanted to spend at least 3/4 of my time at it so far crying at the state of my life, I've somehow made it this far. I got a B in my mock Spanish oral this morning, I wanted to cry at that as well...though this time out of sheer happiness. I somehow managed to use a bunch of tenses correctly, as well as the fact that out of nowhere, I suddenly found myself able to speak with good pace and barely any pauses. I've been much more motivated yesterday and today, I think that was brought on by getting two of my Media essays finished yesterday. I still have three to do, some extra Spanish homework and some Psychology to buy then complete, but the fact that I have outstanding work to complete if/when I want is good - it means I'm not lacking resources to get things done and learnt properly. I'm also three marks off full marks in my English Language speech analysis, honestly, that coursework is driving me insane.

It's my friend Danny's birthday tomorrow, we have many surprises planned for him (including one that took me 3 hours to prepare today...) - finally, something good in college :)

Besos
Rachel 

Tuesday 29 March 2011

Working Title

I'm busy. Probably way too busy, but I'm happy that way. It seems like every day has a different focus, today's was Working Title, the new college magazine.

I didn't even get involved with it intentionally, I just happened to be there when my English teacher decided I should. Turns out it's probably a good thing I did get involved because none of the team can use InDesign...and I can. I've spent most of today either putting it all together or emailing people to try and get some people to help me put it together. We're making it up as we go along, but we don't even have an old college magazine to compare it with as although there was one, we don't have any copies.

Tomorrow is our craft meeting at Amnesty (where we make things for the next campaign) - I have to carry about my boxes of beads all morning before we can do this, fun stuff. I seem to be double booked for both lunchtime and workshop period tomorrow, ugh, cannot be bothered. 

I don't really have anything to blog about tonight, today was good, but odd. Psychology was mainly spent trying not to laugh at my teacher telling us to imagine him teaching the lesson in his underwear (yeah, exactly...) and then me laughing nerviously at the rest of the things he mentioned because they related so much to my day yesterday. Media was also spent laughing with Talor. Spanish was an hour and 10 minutes of depression, though :( I'm having a day off from it today, even though my mock oral is tomorrow, I just need a break from it.

I have an appointment with one of the Study Support people in college on Thursday, I figured I'd need a revision timetable and I've always been useless at making my own (my high school form tutor made both of mine in high school with me - including commands such as ''have a night off and eat chocolate'') - pretty sure my summer 2011 one won't say anything like that, but it'd amuse me if it did.

Just a hint for the future, guys, you know I'm stupidly busy when I write posts like this - there's no point to any of what I just wrote, but I don't want to have big absences again, it makes blogging so dull if you only post once every while. Enjoy the lightheartedness of it all though, I suppose :)


Finally, should I change the font colour on here? It looked good with my old, old layout (I've had many) and colour scheme but I'm not sure it does with this one. Let me know what you think ;)

Besos
Rachel

Monday 28 March 2011

Where is that simple day?

Oh, Josh Groban, you are so right. Where is that simple day indeed? While we're mentioning lyrics, February Song is the most beautiful song I have ever heard. No song is more beautiful for me. It's ironic (in a pretty awful way, but still ironic) how much meaning it actually now has after this February. 

This weekend was long and tiring. I suffer with hayfever and was pretty much unable to even move without it being painful from Friday evening to Sunday evening, I'm still not 100% now. I nearly cried in Psychology because I didn't understand what we did when I was ill on Friday and then I did cry in Media after what I shall call 'an issue' - my teacher had to take me outside the building (I did ask to go get some air to be fair) and hug me as she did so. I love Danni, she's just one of those genuinely lovely people that sometimes you're lucky enough to meet. I like the fact that I've been lucky enough to be taught by some amazing people throughout high school onwards - my college teachers aren't bad at all, they're just all a bit, or a lot, mental. 

I spent pretty much all of last week listening to Camila and/or D'Nash non-stop to see how much of an effect it would have on my Spanish. GOOD NEWS! I'm sure my tenses have already improved, plus it doesn't harm my vocab to learn some extra random words that I think ''probably won't be in my exam'' but in reality, they could be. We did some complicated new tense work today and I understood it much better because I could apply it to song lyrics etc, so it must be having good effects.

I'm currently discussing my fictional trip to The Pie Hole tomorrow with Adam, though I should probably go to bed. I'm now thinking of Ned/Chuck and their romance, which has now reminded me of one of my oral exam answers for Spanish (''Ned y Chuck son amantes, pero no tocan, porque si tocarían, Chuck moriría"). Oh well, I just love the fact that I know someone who likes Pushing Daisies so much that they're willing to plan trips to the pie shop. Haha.


Anyway, normal service will be resumed when I'm less hayfeverish.


Buenas noches ustedes.


Besos
Rachel

Tuesday 22 March 2011

In and Out of Focus

Today has been a long day, I felt ill for most of it and didn't get much time to myself. I had my monitoring interview with my college tutor, Tim, this morning before lunch. We established that I had things I needed to ask all of my college teachers about, yay, how fun. 

I spent most of today beating myself up (obviously not literally...) about how focused I am on my college work and getting worked up about the fact that I cannot dedicate enough time to my non-coursework subjects as I'd like. From high priority to low priority, my subjects go:
1. Spanish
2. Media Studies
3. English Language
4. Psychology
5. CoPE
Psychology needs to be a lot higher up, second at least if not joint with Spanish. I have coursework to fall back on with Media and English, I don't with Spanish and Psychology (CoPE isn't a proper subject...). I'm going to be such a nervous wreck before the summer exams, honestly, you cannot even imagine how sick I already feel at the thought of them. I'm working my way up to forcing myself to stick to a weekly study plan, but the thought of that also makes me feel sick...


Luckily, my choirmaster approached me yesterday and told me that it's back on Friday :D I wanted to go ''YEEEEESSSSSS'' but I obviously didn't, I just laughed when he started messing about and then laughed again when he started teasing my friend Chloe (I laughed a lot yesterday, which was a nice change). Honestly, college has been so bad without choir. Rob asked me ''it's back on Friday, that is, if you still want it?'' - I couldn't 'want' it more. Life is so much better when we have our weekly rehearsals.


I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned Camila much on here. They're a Mexican 'soft rock' band who I discovered via 'Genius Recommendations', well, the older version of them, and I absolutely LOVE them. De Mi is so haunting and beautiful, their whole latest album 'Dejarte De Amar' is beautiful, actually. Their first album, Todo Cambió, is a lot more 'rocky', but there are still some beautiful songs on there too. especially Solo Para Ti. There's something about Camila/the Spanish language that makes these songs so beautiful


Besos
Rachel

Monday 21 March 2011

100 facts about me

To keep up with the (literal) trend...here are my #100factsaboutme (in no special order):

1. I have lived in two different places
2. I live with my two parents and my brother
3. I have a rabbit called Dusty (aka Duddy, Duds, Dudsworthy...) and a guinea pig called Peanut (who is nicknameless)
4. The happiest day of my life was Thursday 15th July 2010 - Muskovci, Zadar County, Croatia
5. The happiest night of my life was the same ^
6. Because of that visit, I fell in love with Croatia and its people
7. I love foreign languages
8. I don't care what I do with my life as long as it involves travel, languages, or both at the same time
9. Sometimes, I want to be a teacher
10. I am a member of the college Amnesty International Group, the SOS team (currently in training, actually), Rob's Mediocre Choir and now the college magazine (currently called Working Title)
11. At the moment, all I spent my time doing is coursework
12. I am currently listening to Giddy Up - The Hoosiers
13. I am a summer person
14. I'm also a night owl...leading to also being a slight insomniac
15. My favourite thing to study is Spanish
16. I have conjugated verbs in 4 languages (English, Spanish, Swedish, French)
17. I am going to Poland this summer to visit Auschwitz
18. I will obviously learn very basic Polish for the visit ^
19. My last Facebook status update was on Friday ''Loved today with the RND team (Chloe, Poppy, Zoe, Eliza, Danny, Kerry, Jonathan) raising £388.76. Well done everyone :)''
20. My contribution to the RND team was to stand up singing for 5 hours with just 15 minutes break somewhere around halfway through
21. I have met some incredible people since starting college (Poppy, Amnesty Group, my AS English group are all pretty cool also...)
22. I accidentally became involved with the college magazine by accidentally being in the teacher's room during the first meeting
23. I started this blog when I was bored
24. I have a Tumblr, but I barely use it and I only ever check my dashboard for the Josh Groban updates
25. I am obsessed with/in love with Josh Groban ^
26. My favourite song of his is February Song, it took on a whole new meaning this February
27. I was one of two students in college who organised the Children in Need fundraising activities in November
28. Because of being one of those two students, I became good friends with Chloe, a girl in my form
29. I like form every Tuesday, period 3, because it always amuses me, somehow...
30. Every 3rd(ish) song on my iPod is a track from the Spanish 'listening' CDs
31. My other absolute favourite musician is Jack Johnson
32. My love for him was established on my favourite day/night ever, courtesy of the awesome Slav, our Croatian tour guide
33. I don't have a favourite song by him because there are too many
34. At Or With Me always makes me think of the people that tried to make my life miserable (some of whom succeeded...) and always makes me feel superior
35. The most emotional song (for me) in my iTunes library is Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol
36. My idea to sing it at choir when we were stuck for ideas was rejected ^ followed by Rob (Choirmaster) teasing me about it
37. I was inspired to join the choir by Gareth Malone
38. I told my Spanish teacher in our speaking practice session this afternoon that I don't admire anybody famous, though I've just realised that I do
39. I should be writing my three articles for college magazine, however I don't have one of them on me, the other is pretty much finished and the other hasn't even been started
40. I never thought I'd be interested in learning a language like Japanese, my study day in Leeds proved me wrong
41. El espanol es mi vida
42. My favourite foreign musicians/bands are Camila and Sakis Rouvas
43. I always listen to foreign music on the bus because I'm almost 100% convinced that nobody else will have heard of the artists, so nobody can judge
44. I am currently obsessed with the song Mahlakas Unenagu by Koit Toome (Estonian)
45. I find it hard to trust people
46. I only have a small group of friends (Fern, Eliza, Danny, Zoe, Keyana, Katie, Natalie, Eleanor) because of this reason
47. I tend to feel quite oppressed by people who like debating opinions
48. I have two friends who I feel like I cannot talk when I'm around
49. There is one girl who seems to get pleasure from trying to bother me, she fails every time
50. I have hayfever...all year round...
51. The only place I haven't suffered with it is in Croatia...where I spent a whole week outdoors
52. I will buy a notebook even if I know I'll never use it as long as it's pretty
53. I like coffee, but I have to drink it every day otherwise it tastes disgusting
54. I don't understand people that chose to go to college, but refuse to do the work or what they are instructed to do by teachers
55. I don't understand the craze for pink hair, except on my friend Eleanor who suits her hair colour
56. I don't like the 'social' college environment
57. I really don't know which subject I should drop at the end of this year
58. I always feel under pressure to succeed in everything that I do
59. I don't like talking about my achievements
60. Despite this ^ people like showing off when they do better than me in something, as if that's the best part about their own achievements
61. I still miss school
62. I met Mark Watson in November
63. I have never met anybody else who is that famous
64. I did once meet G.P. Taylor at a creative writing awards ceremony, but he's not as famous/well known as Mark Watson
65. I also once got rollerbladed over by Shaznay from the band All Saints in Bridlington as a toddler
66. Some of my other favourite musicians include Mat Kearney, Matt Nathanson, Needtobreathe, Tim Minchin, The Hoosiers, Eric Saade...
67. I am beyond obsessed with the Eurovision Song Contest
68. I was very tense waiting to see if Eric Saade won Melodifestivalen 2011
69. I like our entry this year, for the first time in a while
70. I love the Twitter ESC community that I talk to
71. I credit ESC for helping me to establish my love of languages
72. I also credit my love of languages and the world for me becoming a part of the Amnesty Group
73. My Media teacher told me that I ''try to save the world'', I think I probably do
74. I often find myself in ridiculous situations, such as meeting the local MP while dressed as a hula girl, but I wouldn't change it for the world
75. I have email-interviewed Jason Manford and Dean Smith (Phil in Waterloo Road)
76. I still have four signed celebrity prizes left over from Children in Need that the Student Exec in my college told me not to do anything with, my conscience feels guilty that they never raised any money as originally intended
77. I hate talking about how my driving lessons are going, everyone else seems to be progressing and I don't
78. I get family discount for driving lessons as my instructor is my mum's cousin
79. I have always been one of the oldest in my school/college year as my birthday is in mid September
80. This has meant that I've generally had bad friendships with people less mature than me, thus causing problems, yet I find it hard to get along with people older than me
81. I am still being harrasssed via email, only now it's just a bit less than before
82. I'm the first to fault myself
83. I've never had a panic attack, although there have been two occasions when I thought I was - one being due to dehydration halfway up a mountain when I panicked that I would injure myself if I carried on walking but I had no choice, the other time being my parents had to ring the police about a bullying issue
84. This blog has replaced my diary
85. I got full marks in my GCSE Applied ICT coursework, gaining me two A*s, despite the teacher telling me I couldn't get an A* without resitting the exam...I never resat the exam. My Head of Year was happier about that grade than I was after the problems we had with that useless teacher
86. I used to be the Editor of Press Gang, the school newspaper
87. I am a proud former World Challenger, and miss being one right now
88. I miss Pushing Daisies
89. I also miss Lee Pace as Ned
90. I also want a Ned/Chuck romance, even though it's incredibly twisted and they can't touch/he brought her back to life
91. I continue to be amazed by how similar languages are
92. Today's Spanish lesson in numbers was spent just laughing with Amy about the fact that we kept making numbers up (nove, cintrenta, sies...)
93. It took me until January to figure out that when my Spanish teacher says ''is that OK?'' after every sentence she says, she really means ''do you understand?'' (i.e. "You need to look at the sheet and answer the reading questions, is that OK?")
94. Every speaking session I have with my Spanish teacher gets interrupted at least twice
95. When I realised earlier that I understand the imperfect subjunctive, I could've cried with happiness
96. This blog is named after lyrics from If I Walk Away by Josh Groban
97. I have seen Kate Rusby twice in concert, and Underneath the Stars is still one of my absolute favourite songs
98. I went through a very long phase of letting my opinions/thoughts be ruled by lyrics, I'm convinced I'll end up back in that phase someday soon
99. I have grown up a heck of a lot since September/starting college/May/leaving school/July/Croatia
100. I don't lead a very interesting life, as demonstrated by my 100 random facts.

Besos
Rachel

Friday 18 March 2011

Red Nose Day

So, today is Red Nose Day, also known in my world as 'The Great Busking Day'. Poppy and I performed for about 5 hours, with one 15 minute break. My legs are now aching, A LOT. We raised £388.76 in about 5 hours in a pretty horrendous location, so I'd say we did quite well :) I'm ridiculously tired so for now, here are a few snaps from today:
Where's Wally?
The Team - Zoe (Wally), Eliza (Giant Red Nose), Danny (Gladiator), Chloe, Jonathan, Kerry, Me (Hula Girl) and Poppy
Poppy and I busking

Me, Eliza and Zoe

If you're in the UK and haven't yet made a donation to Comic Relief/Red Nose Day, I suggest you go and do so here right now (: I'm looking forward to watching tonight while my legs/feet ache and knowing that what we all did today will make a difference :)

    






Wednesday 16 March 2011

Hvala Hrvatska

I allowed myself to do something out of the ordinary for me earlier today - I let myself get excited about something - Poland. For some reason I never feel like I'm allowed to get excited about things, I don't know if it's because if I do, I end up being disappointed by it or left feeling like its let me down, but I just don't.

Sarah and I were talking about it on the bus home quite a lot today. I love Sarah, I didn't know her all that well in high school, but we sat practically next to each other in Maths and she was one of the people I went to prom with. I sit with her in English and it's definitely made us closer. Anyway, I love that I'm going to Poland with not just her, but Beth and Talor (and Beth's boyfriend, Alex, who I vaguely know) too. It's a college trip, but still, I'm going with people I know...well.

I never got excited about Croatia, not ever, but I think it taught me that it's alright to look forward to things, and if you get let down by them then it's always for a reason and there's always something good in it even if it's not that obvious. I think perhaps I'm much more relaxed about the idea of going to a different country with my college than I was when it was Croatia. It's obviously completely different (last time was a week of physical challenges, this is visiting Auschwitz and is quite focused on the Holocaust), but still, I think I have the confidence to do it anyway. I also found out that Jade from the Amnesty Group is going too, so even though we're not exactly friends I'm happy that I know someone other than the people I'm friends with...if that makes sense.

But it was just nice, you know, to talk about it on the bus and speculate together about the things we'll do and see. I don't feel as insecure about being 'abandoned' by the people I know with this, because I think I genuinely know deep down that I won't be, I can't say that I did with Croatia - though I was lucky because our team was AMAZING and I wouldn't have changed them for the world.

I've been a bit depressed about various things recently, mainly stress about the amount of coursework that seems to have been thrust upon me (Media is ALL due in tomorrow, having harrassments with the printer really doesn't help with that...), but I was also a bit down because I haven't had anything to look forward to - anything to get me through the weeks where I've been exhausted and ill and fed up of everything - and then today I realised that I do, and it's alright that I let myself look forward to it.

Today was a bit more 'normal', English Language was spent mainly just chatting with the people I was in the computer room with (Sarah, Adele, Amy, Leanne, Harley, Helen, Beth) and moaning about our teacher - we haven't been able to just chill and talk in SO long. We were obviously doing coursework at the same time, but it was nice to have some independence in there rather than just listening to our teacher talk and talk and talk... It reminded me of when we first started college and everyone got to know each other. I love our AS class, I'll be gutted when we get split up for A2 :( Everyone shares the same hatred for the subject and one of our teachers, plus everybody seems to get along which is pretty awesome to say we've got a full class of people :)


Workshop period was mainly filled by a college magazine meeting, where I was amused to hear Sophie (link to her blog will be on my recommended list very shortly!) count in French to herself (I LOVE languages geeks :D) and the teacher in charge refer to the editorial as a ''cheeky little piece''. Oh dear... I also managed to get an email interview with Dean Smith who played Phil in Waterloo Road for the first issue - the email came through right at the beginning of the meeting, incredible timing.


Have a good Thursday, everybody :)


Besos
Rachel

Tuesday 15 March 2011

A Year Ago Today

This is exactly what I was thinking a year ago today. That's why I love being a blogger, I can go back to my past posts and look at how different things were. I thought that today, it might be fun to compare last year with today...

Apparently, I was thinking about religion and spirituality this time last year. I still do often think about both of these things, though I think it's perhaps more fuelled by the fact that my Psychology teacher also teaches Religious Studies, and his classroom is filled with posters that I inevitably end up reading when I get very bored when I've finished working. One of my TYSICs was to decide where I stand on religion, and I still really don't know, but I've got about 9 more years to decide it...so I should be alright ;)

I was also thinking about how grateful I was for various things that had happened recently to when the post was published. My coursework that was stolen never did get found. I remember being mainly annoyed because I spent a long time drawing mushroom tarts (my final product) when I really cannot draw to save my life, and then some idiot stole my coursework. It really didn't surprise me because there were two people in my class who would have done anything to mess about...

I find it amusing that this time last year I was also talking about muddling up languages and how one language can often come to you before the one you're looking for... I do this so often now it's almost laughable, and it's not like I speak lots of languages, I just end up knowing words in say, Swedish, and managing to say 'blomma' before 'flor' or 'flower' come into my head. I often begin saying a word in Spanish before realising the people I'm talking to have no idea what it means and going back to English...and I've started having actual thoughts in the Spanish language...such as ''nunca he fumado y nunca fumará'' while I was in the shower, of all places, last week.


It seems that I was also having a rough time this time last year, much like I have had a little for the past week or so. Maybe it's a cyclic thing...


Oh, and by the way, Eric Saade won Melodifestivalen 2011. YES!

Where were YOU a year ago today (or roughly if you don't remember exactly)? :)


Besos
Rachel

Monday 14 March 2011

I am having printer harrassments

It's true, I am. I literally cannot print anything off in Media anymore without having to get Dave (the Media tech guy who reminds me of Mark Watson) to print off FOR me. My student ID card seems to have just stopped working, and I'm convinced my user login doesn't work either. Great. 'Cause I really want to have to go to the ICT tech support 'room' and get their help.

I'm also regretting painting my nails silver, as it started chipping and is now taking a stupidly long time to come off. Just for the record, it took about 15 minutes, that's not normal. Ah, wait, no, I missed a nail. How is that even possible? It's good that I don't have much else to complain or moan about. Speaking of moaning, thank you to you guys that commented on my second to last post with your nice words, you are all muy amable (:

Anyway, my Twitter/ESC friend Tugce (apologies for the lack of accents...) sent me this link a week or two ago and I cannot stop listening to it/watching the video. I was never a huge D'Nash fan, however I have fallen in love with this song and video. I always like listening to foreign music when on the bus, in college, in Media doing my coursework etc etc because I always view foreign music as something that nobody can judge unless they have an in-depth knowledge of that particular language or culture. Mat Kearney and Joshua Radin are other 'safe' musicians that I can listen to - mainly in Media where it's like everybody judges everything about everybody else. I'm clearly too paranoid for my own good. Anyway, if you click on the link an watch the video, let me know what you think (won't be offended if you hate it).


For the record, my nails are now a purple-red colour...I seem to be turning into one of those 'Sex and the City' style teenage bloggers who only ever talk about their hair, their clothes, their new purchases, their nails, their ventures to 'the salon' etc. I'm not one of those people at all, I couldn't be less like that, I just don't have a lot on my mind. People like that irritate me beyond belief...


As do morons that 'hang out' in bus shelters on an evening. Me, Poppy and my mum encountered a bunch of them this evening. There was one boy - about 14 - who had a micro scooter and kept hitting it against the bus shelter - I've never wanted to hit somebody with something they own so much in my life. A man with a toddler walked past and shouted at one of them for swearing loudly, I was obviously cheering this man on from inside my own head. I've never understood my own generation and clearly, I still don't.


Finally, my friend Aiden seems to have re-joined the blogging world, go check him out here.


Besos
Rachel


PS: I'm aware that the spacing is messed up on each of my recent blog posts, there's pretty much nothing I can do about it :(

Sunday 13 March 2011

This is your song

So, yesterday was the first (and possibly last) rehearsal for Comic Relief on Friday. Somehow, Poppy and I have ended up being roped into busking in a shopping centre on Friday. There are a few things wrong with this plan:
1) Neither of us have a clue what we're doing;
2) We can't really sing;
3) Our only instrument is a ukulele, and a tambourine that I plan on borrowing/stealing from Rob in Music on Friday morning before we set off;
4) We can only do two songs even half decently.

If we say that my bedroom, in the UK, up north somewhere, is my comfort zone...I am currently in Australia - that's how far out of my comfort zone I am. I literally cannot even see my comfort zone anymore. It's definitely one thing singing in a choir and another performing as a duo. Our current songs are Not Perfect - Tim Minchin and Your Song - Ellie Goulding. We also can half do Hey, Soul Sister by Train...but that one involves me singing alone :(

My afternoon yesterday was spent sitting around Poppy's dining room table while she played her ukulele and her sister occasionally joined in if she liked/knew the song. It was fun, but we probably could have prepared more. She's coming to mine tomorrow after college so we can rehearse again. We'll more than likely have my dad chipping in with his musical expertise...


If anybody has any suggestions of songs that are easy to play on the ukulele and also easy for someone with very average singing abilities to sing, please let us know!


Besos
Rachel


 

Friday 11 March 2011

Leave me alone

Have you ever wanted to just scream that at a person? I have. I do now.

I don't understand why some people have to be so pathetic and bitchy and get involved in other people's lives, and keep up with it for ridiculously long periods of time. I just want to tell several people the following:

"I've kept out of your way for a long time now, deliberately, because neither of us need the trouble. I've been nothing but civil to you even when you try and make me feel like the worst person in the world for absolutely no reason, I've even helped you with things despite us not getting along at all, and yet still, for some reason, you think it's OK to involve yourself in my life."

"You always go on about how you don't judge your friends, how you're thankful for your friends, etc etc. And yet you go around making people feel like they can't speak to you, and you don't even leave it there, you go around telling people things about me. And pretend that you don't because it's obvious."

"And all of you, why can't you just get on with your own lives without making anybody not in your stupid little 'gang' feel threatened and targeted by you? There might be 'safety in numbers' but when you're all as horrible to people as you are, then what's the point in any of it? Why can't any of you just have a tiny little bit of compassion for others, people who are living in horrible conditions and in places that offer them terrible lives? Why can't you just grow up a bit? We can't all act like pathetic little school children any more..."

It just feels like there's no end to any of it, and I don't know what to do. I've been to counselling, and for a while things were good, they were better and my head was clear. And then things were so good that it was decided I didn't need counselling any more. And it's like the moment I decided that, everybody somehow knew about it and started up doing and saying things again. I've never been able to trust people very easily, and it's like every person I place even a bit of trust in breaks that trust. I'm sick and tired of being taken advantage of and used by people that are supposed to be my friends, people that I thought weren't 'like the others always were'. 

I just want to go and hide somewhere and not leave that place ever again. Just the thought of college on Monday makes me feel physically sick and the thought of seeing certain people does the same. I don't know what to do and I can't even pretend that I'm coping with it all, because I'm not. I'm not and I'm fed up of feeling like I have to, like it's just something that I have to deal with, because nobody should have to deal with something for so long and it never show signs of stopping. 


Besos
Rachel

Thursday 10 March 2011

Pictures of people taking pictures

I'm in a truly depressive mood tonight, but I wanted to blog again, so instead of a big, long rant about why I hate my life at the moment, here are some pictures of better times...

6.1.11 - Great Uncle Joe's 80th Birthday 


22.12.10 - Bella Italia for Eliza's Birthday, playing charades
16.12.10 - Senior Citizens' Christmas Party
7.12.10 - Photoshoot for Eliza's Photography
4.12.10 - Mark Watson @ Halifax Theatre
18.11.10 - Leg Waxing for Children in Need
26.9.10 - Frankie & Benny's for my birthday
26.7.10 - Meal out with Zoe, Eliza, Fern and Danny
10.7.10 - Split Airport
30.6.10 - High School Prom
18.1.11 - Fern's Birthday
Looking at these pictures just reinforces how crazy it is that things have changed as quickly as they have. We don't have long left together as a group of friends until our joint education is over forever, and we seem to spend at least half of our time together upset or sad or fed up. I really hope that changes...


Besos
Rachel