2011

I didn't write a post on NYE last year. Looking back through my archives, I just posted a piece of creative writing on the 29th then I didn't write again until late January. I wish I could remember why. I dug my old diary out last night to look over 2011's resolutions, but there was nothing between November 2010 and August 2011. But, from what I remember, at the time I didn't want to remember how life was. 

I achieved 19 things in 2011 that I set out to achieve at the beginning of the year. Sensible, logical targets such as 'pass all of my AS levels with As and Bs' were scattered amongst much more subjective targets such as 'see the good in everything'. Incidentally, I think these two are the two I'm most proud of.


So why, after not bothering last year, am I writing now? Listen to the link below - I hope you'll be able to figure it out for yourself.


Jamie Hartman - Happy New Year (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIF89M07IWg&feature=player_embedded)


The new year is always anticipated with mixed emotions. In the days following Christmas, still in the run-up to the new year, I find that I tend to go a bit crazy. There's suddenly the realisation that the year is ending, and even though the whole world isn't going to end with it, the pressure to achieve always gets to me. Always.

“Say happy new year, ‘cause this is the end of all that was broken and you needed to mend. Let go of your fears, say happy new year. ‘Cause this is the start, start over new, and all that you wanted, all that you wanted, is coming to you. And you’re finally here, say happy new year.” I cannot begin to tell you how much those words have made me think in recent weeks. I think back to the beginning of the year and I remember how dark my head was...


January Exams, Fern's birthday, college magazine pressure, Amnesty Group pressure, Media coursework pressure (and can I please just say how awesome my friends were at helping me out with that - love you guys!), general life pressure, but then, a lot of memories too.

We reconnected with my dad's extended family after pretty much my entire lifetime at my Uncle Joe's 80th birthday party. We hugged, we caught up, sentences such as 'I have no idea who just hugged me' departed our lips but we didn't care. We were there, we were together, we were family. And throughout this whole year, I can honestly say that I have never stopped being thankful for this night.

That Media coursework I mentioned? Meet the cast and crew of You Call That News? My friends (L to R: Joe, Poppy, Eleanor, Danny [at table], Aiden, Eliza) were absolutely brilliant throughout the whole process of shooting, editing, re-shooting, photographing, covering a drama studio in newspaper and improvising after the lights wouldn't work. They were fantastic and funny, and I couldn't have been more thankful. Here is the actual advert, and here is the brilliant outtakes video I posted too. 

Friendship, in its purest form as far as we know, on Fern's birthday. There's also a shot of Eliza and I cutting out random shapes from coloured paper and Fern with her brilliant banner (as designed by Eliza in Photography class...) One thing we're all good at is deciding we must bring in food when it's somebody's birthday ;)

And then it was onto February, a month that generally seems to pass me by without me realising. It was a humbling month. February 16th will forever remain a poignant day in my memory. To Adam: I will never forget your composure that day, the way you came back to the stall and 'got on with it'. I admired you so much that day for how you dealt with everything that was going on.

March brought a fresh month, I recall. After the turbulence of February, it brought fun and new experiences. Poppy (hi, CT!) and I spent a day busking for Red Nose Day dressed as a hula girl and, well, I'm not sure what Poppy was. It was fun, it was liberating, and I'm thankful that nobody saw either of our rehearsals - one was spent sitting around her dining room table trying to choose songs we could half-sing, the other was spent sitting in my bedroom attempting to muster the enthusiasm to rehearse. This also brought a bus ride home on the college bus singing while Poppy played her ukulele. March was definitely Poppy's month, in my mind.

April was stressful. I remember being stupidly angry all month about pretty much everything. The 6th always sends me into meltdown, even though it really has no logical reason to, and this was coupled with several high-stress situations. We had the Amnesty handover meeting and I became President of the group, with the lovely but mental Jade was Vice President, Eleanor as Treasurer and Eliza as Press Officer. We said goodbye to Adam and Jonathan and looked forward to our future as a team.


May was massively stressful. The first anniversary of leaving school came and went without me really realising. We had exams and all the stress and pressure that comes with it. As you can probably appreciate, this left literally no time to think about taking pictures of anything...

Photo courtesy of the University of Leeds

Team Sheepish!

But June and July, they were so rich, so full of life, which is why I'm referring to them almost as one huge month. I went to Poland with Psychology and formed friendships that I hold so close to my heart as this year draws to a close. We visited Auschwitz and gained a perspective that the majority of society really is missing out on. We sat in Krakow's beautful Main Square and cried to each other as we cleansed ourselves of the emotion we had been holding onto. We ran around hunting down random objects for the big group quiz. We lost a member of staff who was apparently ''hiding in a bush''. Quite simply, we felt alive. That first picture on the left is one of my favourites - Jess framed it for me as a birthday present. From left to right: Jade, myself, Jess. I then got back and it didn't seem like two minutes before Sophie, James and I were heading off to 'language camp', otherwise known as Linguastars. What an amazing two days - so inspirational and perfect for language geeks like the three of us. 

I mainly remember spending August feeling completely anonymous in Perros-Guirec, France. It was refreshing knowing that nobody knew me. I had fun going in and out of French supermarkets (weirdo alert!) (Super U Tregastel was my favourite) and even visited La Perlerie in Dinan, which I would definitely recommend for people who make jewellery. My brother and I spent evenings watching Not Going Out DVDs and eating Milka chocolate. There was nothing to worry about. Nothing.

Now for 'The Big One'. September. My 18th birthday, the beginning of Y13 and my second/last year at college. What an amazing month. There are so many memories and small moments that I wish I could spend time explaining to you - the way it felt to see my friend Rachel again after 4 years, the love I felt at my party, the brilliant in-joke of my cousin requesting Pure and Simple by Hearsay for me, the awkwardness of Jade and Jess yelling ''OH MY GOD IT'S LOADED!" while I was being forced to make a speech... It was perfect. Some of the photos here were taken by Jess or on Jess' fancy camera. I own the crappy ones ;P September was also the month of singing lots of karaoke with Eleanor at Jade's 18th (we thankfully missed her stripping off...) and realising that we really didn't know the words to any of the songs we chose. It was the month of things going back to normal after the quiet of the summer and the stress of the exam season. It was a month for reflecting upon family and friends and it was a month of gratitude. I hope that everybody who attended my birthday knows how thankful I am - yes, even you, Jacob, but next time please don't try to abduct Keyana halfway through ;)


October and November were months of parties and getting stuck into college work properly. November was a bit rubbish, but we need not speak of that now. The whole friendship group attended Aiden's fancy dress 18th, and Sophie and I sort of went matching (I was Spanish, she was French...and she stole my beret, too). November was also quite exciting as for once I had bonfire night plans. Sophie's parents hosted a fabulous bonfire party and it was ridiculously fun. I spent a lot of time 'bonding' with Liz (pictured with me above right) and I think everybody appreciated all of the cupcakes and sweets. Have I ever mentioned that Sophie's mum is awesome? No? Well she is.

Poppy and I also met Daniel Sloss and Kai Humphries after she kindly gave me her spare ticket to the Sheffield gig. Be jealous, folks, be jealous ;) (This is also why Poppy is awesome...)

And, finally, December. Eliza's hula themed 18th (I know, I know, and if I'd have known, I'd have SO saved my hula costume from March ;P). We also went for our annual Christmas gift exchange meal/bowling outing to Xscape and rather enjoyed watching Eliza and Sarah somehow NOT fail at the bowling part (you all know what I mean, guys). Christmas came and went, and life has gone on. I have spent the holidays in a Christmas-induced panel show style TV coma, doing nothing but watch things on YouTube or pick my mum up from work. But I'm OK with that, and I'll work hard to do well in my January exams regardless. 


Now I know there are bits I've glossed over. Goodness knows how many parts of the year I've deliberately ignored or even buried deeply in my subconscious. But that's how every year is. That's how life is, it seems. I may not have achieved all 30 aims for the year, but I achieved so much more besides. 


But, as I sit here at 01:21am on Saturday 31st December 2011, with Happy New Year on repeat and my old diary laid out in front of me, I am content. 


"I know, I know, how they laughed in your face. They hoped, and hoped, and they said you would break. Hold on, you're fine. When they cut you to size, then you turn round and smile just a little." I think if anything could sum my year up, this lyric does it perfectly. So many people around me know how accurately that describes the year, particularly the second half, for me. But despite everything that happened and the hours spent hurting, I'm taking Mr Hartman's advice to let go of my fears. 

This year I have cried (a lot), I have given my time to people who needed it, I have achieved, I have received 5 university offers, I have been enlightened by wonderful people, and I have been thankful. My life has been touched by beautifully-minded friends and I have been reminded of why it is so important to look for the good in every situation. 2011 gave me opportunities and I made the most of (the majority of) them. 

This is easily the longest blog post I have ever written. But, you know, it's got a year's worth of content in it, so... 

My aims for next year?
1) Laugh more
2) Find the courage to rise above those who want me to fall
3) Document things more - it's important to remember the bad as well as the good
4) Be present - and that can be interpreted in whichever way it needs to be

I hope that those of you who have made it this far are also able to reflect on a trying but rewarding 2011, and I hope that everybody has the 2012 they are hoping for. To those who I have referred to, and even those who I know and have not referred to here: thank you.

"Buy the ticket, take the ride." - Hunter S. Thompson

Besos ♥
Rachel 

Christmas

Christmas is all but over now. It's 7:50pm here in the UK as I write this and our household has settled down for a long night in front of the TV. Everything is as usual here. I've been Facebooking my half-cousin Zoe, who we haven't seen this Christmas, about her and her family's Christmas and uploading photos of yesterday's annual Christmas Eve gathering at my grandma's house. Nothing is wrong with our little world. I mean, Blogger won't recognise my photo album so I'm having to copy and paste URLs in from Tumblr, but other than that, nothing is wrong with our little world...

I took many ridiculous photos of food and baubles last night at my grandma's. It has become something of a tradition to eat tons of junk and then lose at Trivial Pursuit (my team came 3rd out of 4 teams, so not a total loss...) To put it simply, it's never a ground-movingly memorable event, but that's precisely the point - it's tradition. It's regular and we can seek comfort in the fact that we know how it is. Or at least, I can. I obviously can't speak for another 8 people.

My main task this year was to decorate our Christmas cake. I went for a penguin theme. Probably mainly because I watched half of Happy Feet a few days before going out to purchase the fondant icing, but also because I just like penguins...even if they have eyes as creepy as my iced penguins... I'm ridiculously proud of my decoration attempts, I even painted the whole thing with edible glitter and made snowballs out of coconut. Cake decorating is a serious thing, you know...


Today has mainly been spent in the living room sitting in the same seat for the majority of the day. I feel a bit like I'm going mental, but I can't figure out if that's because I've been in the house all day, or just because Christmas tends to have this effect on me. As Josh Groban sung, it's always this time of year that my thoughts undo me. 


I'm now just looking forward to the new year. I have a lot I want to sit down and write about it and I'm looking forward to shutting myself off for the world and spending an hour or two writing. It feels like so long since I last did that. But for now, I'm thankful - for family, for the small things, and for tradition. And as Miss Dusty said...

Besos ♥
Rachel 

Jumping on the Glossybox bandwagon

So, my friend Jess and I exchanged Christmas presents last Tuesday during our last Starbucks Tuesday of 2011 (sob sob). She bought me a cute little necklace with a Russian doll on it, a chocolate reindeer and a November Glossybox. She also requested that I 'reviewed' the Glossybox, because according to her I review a lot of things on here (do I...?) So here goes...

In terms of blogging circles, the Glossybox is one of the biggest crazes at the moment. For £12.95 (don't quote me on that, mine was free, remember...) a month, including P+P, you can receive a Glossybox through the post containing several different products. There are many other beauty boxes (Carmine etc), but it seems that this is the brand most talked about. I can't quite figure out why - it's certainly not the cheapest and a lot of people believe other boxes offer a lot more. So why is the Glossybox so appealing? 

Well, for me, there was something quite special about opening it up and finding out what was inside. I know a lot of people were disappointed with the November edition, and I can kind of understand why, but here's my 'review' anyway...

Illamasqua 'Freak' sample
The first product in the box was a sample of Illamasqua's Freak perfume. I like it, I wouldn't necessarily buy the full size bottle though. Lots of people don't like receiving samples as it feels like a bit of a rip off, but considering my box was a gift, I wasn't too bothered at receiving it. There's quite a lot of waffle on the inside about the scent itself - "I am bottled midnight" - that makes it sound rather grand. It also lists the 'top notes', 'heart notes', and 'base notes'. It was nice to receive as a little freebie and I'm wearing it seen as I have it. It's quite a strong scent, but being no perfume expert I have no idea what it perhaps compares to. 

Arbonne FC5 Ultra-Hydrating Hand Creme
As well as the fact that I'm not an expert on perfume, I'm also not a skincare expert. My favourite hand cream is Nails Inc's Kensington caviar hand cream, but my collection isn't exactly extensive. 
What do I like about this product? Well, the smell is quite pleasant. You can, in my opinion (and that of my friend Fern [who also tried it out]), smell the kiwi which gives it a fresh, natural smell.
What don't I like about this product? The one I received was a little battered around the bottom. Not a great first impression at all - take note, Glossybox. I also wasn't a massive fan of the texture, while it seems to do its job and is a good hand cream, it's a little dry for my liking. I definitely wouldn't pay £19.00 for the full size product. My free (was in a free gift set when I spent £40 or more), full size Nails Inc Kensington works much better and is cheaper.

Nail Rock Designer Nail Wraps
Nail wraps are definitely a trend that I haven't jumped on. For me, these are on a par with the new magnetised nail polishes or crackle effect polishes - so many people are doing it that I just don't want to try it myself. However, seen as I received them, I will try them out. I've been advised not to attempt it myself, so Fern (who seems to know a lot about them) and Sarah are coming round to mine some time to do them for me. I'm not a massive animal print fan - again, I think because so many other people are - although I could perhaps try them on my toes...

Monu Skin Perfector
I'm not really sure what the purpose of this product is. I assumed it was a primer, and so used it as one. I'd actually been having a problem with my foundation lasting all day - a typical college day is long and tiring and my face usually shows it by the time 4pm comes around. So, I tried this out one morning (when I actually had the time to add another component to my morning routine) and found that it did help my foundation to stay on. I unfortunately haven't had time to use it again since, but the results of one use were very encouraging and I'm excited to try it again. 

Dead Spa Sea Magik's Dead Sea Bath Salts
(Please excuse the crappy photo - Blogger isn't playing today)
Award winning bath salts, apparently, so I had high expectations.
What do I like about the product? There's no smell, which is always one of my major problems with bath products. The claim to ''alleviate dry skin'' is indeed true. I've had a patch of dry skin on my arm and it certainly improved after just one bath using these salts. The picture to the right shows the colour they turned the water - a sort of light turquoise blue. 
What don't I like about the product? It could have a little scent to it. I know I said I liked that there was no smell, but there's generally always something and there was nothing with this product. I also think the packaging is ridiculous considering it's not a product you use in one go. Plastic bags are not practical at the best of times, let alone for a product with lots of tiny bath salts in it...

So this was my little review of November's Glossybox. Way out of date, I know, but seen as Jess requested it I thought I'd do it anyway.


Have any of you tried out the products yourselves? Leave us a comment with your opinions if so :)


Besos ♥
Rachel 

My week in pictures

Monday was the consultation evening for parents. It was alright, nothing awful and for once I didn't cry. The downside was that we had to run about between the common room and the LRC all evening and we had at least 20 minutes to wait to see my Psychology teacher because of it. Great stuff. When it finished, we had to drive to a service station to pick my grandad up (don't even ask) so ended up going for a coffee. Possibly one of the oddest nights of my life thus far. The coffee wasn't even that nice - that's what you get for using WH Smith's Costa Express rather than proper Costa. Hmm.


Sophie and I had a sort of picnic in the languages classroom on Tuesday. We couldn't go in the lab (booo) but Judith let us into her room (which for the first time ever, was warm, so warm we had to open a window. NCP languages students will know why this is such a massive deal ;P). I don't even remember what she was drawing a bridge for, but I do know that it amused me greatly. I spent lunchtime promoting World Aids Day with the rest of the SOS group in the common room. Above is one of the group pictures we took :)

I was kindly greeted with this obstruction in the park this week too (Wednesday?). It was so windy it actually knocked the tree down.  was the second closest to it in terms of parking. Not good. I don't think any cars were harmed/completely crushed by it, but there are usually LOTS parked directly underneath where it fell. I bet the drivers of those cars all feel ridiculously lucky...


Yesterday was Write For Rights day 2011 at college and the Amnesty group did a campaign in the common room. Students signed cards and petitions and one of our biggest staff supporters even had his class signing cards he asked reprographics to make for him. How awesome is that?! We also hosted our first ever Amnesty Debate in G6 and the group seemed to enjoy debating 'the death penalty and surrounding issues'. Little Rachel and Georgia even did some research and brought it with them. It warms my heart so much to see that there are students who care.
Then, finally, last night I went to the 18th party of someone I went to school with (Chris) and some of the usual group. In these photos I'm with Eliza and Danny. It wasn't the best party ever (there was no dancing and the music was fairly terrible) but it could've been a lot worse. It was nice to do something other than just sit in the house on a Friday evening anyway :) Eliza and I left at 10:30ish because she had work today and I've caught another cold :( Booo.


I don't have a photo of the last thing I want to mention, but guess who got two offers from the University of Leeds yesterday? ;) It seems that it somehow inspired me to learn Swedish again, even though neither of the courses I've applied for involve Swedish at all, and today I sat and did a lesson. I also wrote most of my Christmas cards. Just a ton of revision to get done tomorrow, then :(


Besos ♥
Rachel 

I don't have time to blog

I don't (have time to blog), but here I am anyway. Probably for my own sanity more than anything else. I feel like I've been neglecting my blog again and I don't like that.

Tonight was consultation evening at college, which is possibly the most awkward and uninspiring event in the college's calendar. My dad sat having a conversation with my grandad over the phone whilst we were speaking to my Psychology teacher. MORTIFIED. I'm going to be apologising for that one in the morning...

I don't know what it is about parents' evening, it just depresses me. It's also an extra hour or so in college - two hours total including travel time - when I could be doing something productive. You know, like work. No major concerns but still, depressing.

This week is busy. Again. Starbucks Tuesday with Jess P2 tomorrow, Guerra Civil revision with James P3, World Aids Day promotion (late, I know) at lunchtime, Amnesty on Wednesday, Amnesty campaign set-up on Thursday, Amnesty campaign on Friday, SOS meeting on Friday, photo-taking for a Mayor's Award thingy also on Friday. Meh. College's motto of ''there is no such thing as a free period'' is evidently true. My head hurts from all of the pressure.


My Psychology teacher told me this evening that she could ''feel my stress''. I'm glad somebody can - the rest of my teachers seem to think that it's perfectly normal to have 7000 essays a week. UGH. I don't understand how anybody is supposed to cope with the workload. Even if I do nothing for Amnesty, SOS, WT etc, I STILL don't have time to fit everything in. Life itself is tiring, let alone everything else on top of that.


Rant over.


Besos ♥
Rachel