One day your story will be told.
One of the lucky ones who's made his name.
One day they'll make you glorious,
Beneath the lights of your deserved fame.
And it all comes round.
Once in a lifetime like it always does.
Everybody loves you 'cause you've taken a chance,
Out on a dance to the moon, too soon.
And they'll say told you so.
We were the ones who saw you first of all.
We always knew that you were one of the brightest stars.
One day they'll tell you that you've changed,
Though they're the ones who seem to stop and stare.
One day you'll hope to make the grave,
Before the papers choose to send you there.
And it all comes round.
Once in a lifetime like it always does.
Nobody loves you 'cause you've taken a chance,
Out on a dance to the moon, too soon.
And they'll say told you so.
We were the ones who saw you first of all.
We always knew that you were one of the brightest stars.
And they'll say told you so.
We were the ones who saw you first of all.
We always knew that you were one of the brightest stars.
One of the Brightest Stars - James Blunt
Another good day today. I'm starting to accept the fact that I'm leaving school and just enjoy the time I have left. My form tutor brought cake in for us this lunchtime and it was, in Fern's words, 'yum'. We also had fun reminiscing about Flopsy the dragon toy thing that we used in PSE as a sort of speaking object (long story, not very interesting) and we were all just happy, which I loved. This weekend I plan to write letters for everybody for when we do finally leave. I'm a bit nervous about what I'm going to put, not sure why, I just am. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend and normal posting will resume soon :)
Besos ♥
Rachel
Friday 30 April 2010
Thursday 29 April 2010
How I feel today...
We are grown
But cannot see
Lost our world of make believe
Simple times now seem so far
Used to be in my back yard
Yeah the world was still in my back yard
But, we are ok, we are all right
We sing very loud,
Yeah we're singing,
We are OK, we are alright
Close our eyes
Close our mouths
Yeah, we shut our eyes
Though we're in doubt.
Build me a home from cardboard box
Many windows never locked
This is how we used to play
Shorter nights and longer days
With faith we would not fade away
But, we are ok, we are all right
We sing very loud,
Yeah we're singing,
We are OK, we are alright
Close our eyes
Close our mouths
Yeah, we shut our eyes
Though we're in doubt.
And so it goes
We can never seem to find
The time we lost
Though we try at any cost
We try...and we say...
But, we are ok, we are all right
We sing very loud,
Yeah we're singing,
We are OK, we are alright
Close our eyes
Close our mouths
Yeah, we shut our eyes
Though we're in doubt.
We Are Okay - Joshua Radin. Have suddenly fallen in love with this man's music.
Had a good day today. No 'if', no 'but', today was just good. I even had an after school meeting and it was still good, in fact that meeting made it even better. I heard a preview of the new single of an artist I like, I laughed hysterically with my friends, I was involved in several hilarious incidents with various teachers and for the first time in the whole two GCSE years, one of my subjects had a purpose...a focus.
Hope you've all had an equally as good day :)
Besos ♥
Rachel
But cannot see
Lost our world of make believe
Simple times now seem so far
Used to be in my back yard
Yeah the world was still in my back yard
But, we are ok, we are all right
We sing very loud,
Yeah we're singing,
We are OK, we are alright
Close our eyes
Close our mouths
Yeah, we shut our eyes
Though we're in doubt.
Build me a home from cardboard box
Many windows never locked
This is how we used to play
Shorter nights and longer days
With faith we would not fade away
But, we are ok, we are all right
We sing very loud,
Yeah we're singing,
We are OK, we are alright
Close our eyes
Close our mouths
Yeah, we shut our eyes
Though we're in doubt.
And so it goes
We can never seem to find
The time we lost
Though we try at any cost
We try...and we say...
But, we are ok, we are all right
We sing very loud,
Yeah we're singing,
We are OK, we are alright
Close our eyes
Close our mouths
Yeah, we shut our eyes
Though we're in doubt.
We Are Okay - Joshua Radin. Have suddenly fallen in love with this man's music.
Had a good day today. No 'if', no 'but', today was just good. I even had an after school meeting and it was still good, in fact that meeting made it even better. I heard a preview of the new single of an artist I like, I laughed hysterically with my friends, I was involved in several hilarious incidents with various teachers and for the first time in the whole two GCSE years, one of my subjects had a purpose...a focus.
Hope you've all had an equally as good day :)
Besos ♥
Rachel
Wednesday 28 April 2010
Full Circle
It's no secret that the majority of this year has been rubbish, and if you're thinking ''has it, I wonder why..." - I suggest you check out my earlier posts.
I'm posting again today because I don't have much to do tonight and it's always the perfect time to blog. I'm also listening to freshly purchased new music which always encourages me to blog. Can't explain it, it just seems to happen that way.
From Y7 onwards, my teachers have pretty much always told me that things will work out and things will be OK, and being stubborn and always thinking I know best, I never really believed any of them. It's possibly the fact that we're leaving in three (ish) weeks, but I really feel that things are finally starting to come full circle and things are working out properly.
As silly or sad as it may sound, I feel like I've matured a lot over just these past few weeks. Whether people around me agree or not, I don't know, but I do feel that way. You'll have to forgive me now, as I've become very aware that I talk a heck of a lot about leaving school, but there's not long to go and then it's all over. The journey is complete, the destination has been reached, the holiday can begin etc etc.
What's so wonderful, or at least in my opinion, is that for the first time in my life I am allowed both socially and personally to be able to express my gratitude, respect and appreciation for my teachers. OK, so admittedly not all of them are worthy of any of those things but 90% of them are, particularly my Head of Year and Form Tutor - without whom I would not have learnt the life lessons I believe I have through my five years at high school. I'm working on thank you letters for everybody, and I love how I have too much that I want to thank people for, because it reiterates for me just how many amazing people I have encountered in the past few years.
In a slightly more vain note, I got four comments on my 'Fifteen' post which made me smile a lot. Thanks guys! :) I also downloaded some (more) new music today which sums up my entire emotions right now which I'm loving too. Here's a little sample of what I'm listening to at the moment: Friend Like You - Joshua Radin.
If you have any more free time than you've had to read this post, I suggest you check out my friend Aiden's cookery blog at: http://cookateen.blogspot.com/ as well as my friend Eliza's at: http://therandomponderings.blogspot.com/ and the lovely @stephishere from the wonderful world of Twitter at: http://stoophneontiger.blogspot.com/
Besos ♥
Rachel
I'm posting again today because I don't have much to do tonight and it's always the perfect time to blog. I'm also listening to freshly purchased new music which always encourages me to blog. Can't explain it, it just seems to happen that way.
From Y7 onwards, my teachers have pretty much always told me that things will work out and things will be OK, and being stubborn and always thinking I know best, I never really believed any of them. It's possibly the fact that we're leaving in three (ish) weeks, but I really feel that things are finally starting to come full circle and things are working out properly.
As silly or sad as it may sound, I feel like I've matured a lot over just these past few weeks. Whether people around me agree or not, I don't know, but I do feel that way. You'll have to forgive me now, as I've become very aware that I talk a heck of a lot about leaving school, but there's not long to go and then it's all over. The journey is complete, the destination has been reached, the holiday can begin etc etc.
What's so wonderful, or at least in my opinion, is that for the first time in my life I am allowed both socially and personally to be able to express my gratitude, respect and appreciation for my teachers. OK, so admittedly not all of them are worthy of any of those things but 90% of them are, particularly my Head of Year and Form Tutor - without whom I would not have learnt the life lessons I believe I have through my five years at high school. I'm working on thank you letters for everybody, and I love how I have too much that I want to thank people for, because it reiterates for me just how many amazing people I have encountered in the past few years.
In a slightly more vain note, I got four comments on my 'Fifteen' post which made me smile a lot. Thanks guys! :) I also downloaded some (more) new music today which sums up my entire emotions right now which I'm loving too. Here's a little sample of what I'm listening to at the moment: Friend Like You - Joshua Radin.
If you have any more free time than you've had to read this post, I suggest you check out my friend Aiden's cookery blog at: http://cookateen.blogspot.com/ as well as my friend Eliza's at: http://therandomponderings.blogspot.com/ and the lovely @stephishere from the wonderful world of Twitter at: http://stoophneontiger.blogspot.com/
Besos ♥
Rachel
Tuesday 27 April 2010
Life Through Lyrics #2
This is the second of two Life Through Lyrics posts. I intended to make it a regular feature back in March (I believe) then, well, forgot. While I'm online and signed in, I thought I'd do the second post. And I do definitely intend to make it a regular feature (and yes, you CAN hold me to that...)
Although this is copied from the original LTL post, I still feel it sums up why I want to do this:
"So, what I thought I'd do is just, well, post a bunch of lyrics that I feel sum up my life, who I am, things I want to accomplish etc. These are in no particular order (OK, that was bordering on game show host results style, apologies...), here are a random collection of little quotes, phrases, lyrics etc that I love."
"Is the reason you keep asking me to change so that you stay the same? Well I'm sorry if I keep disappointing you again and again." I Am Who I Am - Ben's Brother
"Free her mind she's always the analyst. Silent space, the culprit, the catalyst. Trying to make sense of this life." The Analyst - Delta Goodrem
"But it's a lie, it's a lie, don't you believe it. If you're fine, then you're fine - it's all how you see it." On a High - Duncan Sheik
"I love the way you hear the words unspoken. It's like you read between the minds." Between the Minds - Jack Savoretti
"And they'll say told you so. We were the ones who saw you first of all. We always knew that you were one of the brightest stars." One of the Brightest Stars - James Blunt
"It's not easy to hide when your heart's on full view. Oh, tonight, cruel world be forgiving. Oh, for once in my life I am living." Little Jack Frost - Kate Rusby
"Did you know that everything she ever does is for you? So it goes, the story of a broken heart comes true, it comes true." Story - Maroon 5
"You talk about me and talk about you, and everything I do, like it's something that needs repeating." My Interpretation - Mika
"People started talking, just to hear their own voice." Washed By the Water - Needtobreathe
"My hero cried as we stood out their in the cold, like these autumn leaves I dont have nothing to hold." Autumn - Paolo Nutini
I know this is a long shot, but I'd love it if you'd leave your own most loved lyrics in comments, or even a similar post yourself. I know I get a lot of pleasure from lyrics and I know many of you guys do too :)
Besos ♥
Rachel
Although this is copied from the original LTL post, I still feel it sums up why I want to do this:
"So, what I thought I'd do is just, well, post a bunch of lyrics that I feel sum up my life, who I am, things I want to accomplish etc. These are in no particular order (OK, that was bordering on game show host results style, apologies...), here are a random collection of little quotes, phrases, lyrics etc that I love."
"Is the reason you keep asking me to change so that you stay the same? Well I'm sorry if I keep disappointing you again and again." I Am Who I Am - Ben's Brother
"Free her mind she's always the analyst. Silent space, the culprit, the catalyst. Trying to make sense of this life." The Analyst - Delta Goodrem
"But it's a lie, it's a lie, don't you believe it. If you're fine, then you're fine - it's all how you see it." On a High - Duncan Sheik
"I love the way you hear the words unspoken. It's like you read between the minds." Between the Minds - Jack Savoretti
"And they'll say told you so. We were the ones who saw you first of all. We always knew that you were one of the brightest stars." One of the Brightest Stars - James Blunt
"It's not easy to hide when your heart's on full view. Oh, tonight, cruel world be forgiving. Oh, for once in my life I am living." Little Jack Frost - Kate Rusby
"Did you know that everything she ever does is for you? So it goes, the story of a broken heart comes true, it comes true." Story - Maroon 5
"You talk about me and talk about you, and everything I do, like it's something that needs repeating." My Interpretation - Mika
"People started talking, just to hear their own voice." Washed By the Water - Needtobreathe
"My hero cried as we stood out their in the cold, like these autumn leaves I dont have nothing to hold." Autumn - Paolo Nutini
I know this is a long shot, but I'd love it if you'd leave your own most loved lyrics in comments, or even a similar post yourself. I know I get a lot of pleasure from lyrics and I know many of you guys do too :)
Besos ♥
Rachel
Fifteen
...is the number of days left until I say goodbye to the school that has been the basis of so many wonderful memories of the past five years. It's a scary thought, but I have no option other than to leave, so I'm dealing with that (somehow).
It struck me earlier that while I moan a lot and spend a lot of time being deep and reflective, I easily miss the best things in life. I tried to rectify this at Christmas time after watching Adam Hills' DVD, but it sort of failed.
Rubbish things happened today and I realised something that I really should have realised a long time ago: September will come around as usual, and we will all be apart once more, apart in a similar way to how we were apart before starting high school. I like to think that we've all come full circle at the moment, I'm enjoying the few precious weeks I have left with the best friends in the world and the most inspirational people I could wish to know. Those that I don't like seem to be showing their 'true colours' and revealing to everybody why they are so disliked, and those that deserve to do well are doing amazingly.
I've had some amazing memories at school. It, or more specifically room 16...my form room, has been the centre of so many fun times with my friends and I'm genuinely thankful to have had that. It still scares me to think that I have to leave it all behind, but the truth is that we're all moving on.
I have nothing else to post about tonight, but I got my homework out of the way earlier so I don't have anything to do and I felt like posting. Sorry if it's a bit rubbish.
I would just like to end by saying thank you to a bunch of people. I probably won't get the opportunity to thank some of these personally and they may never read this, but I feel the need to do it. So here goes:
Thank you to Fern for constantly being there, always nagging me and injuring me, and for never stopping grinning and laughing wildly.
Thank you to Aiden for being deep and meaningful, encouraging and amusing and just generally mental.
Thank you to Joe for all the innuendo, silly little arguments over the meaning of words/general grammar and reminding me not to post pictures of my dusty rabbit all over Facebook.
Thank you to Eliza, Danny and Zoe for being fabulously insane and hilariously bonkers, for being such a good triple act and for the RSL.
Thank you to Trish and Natalie, my fellow science table mongers, without whom science would be a very dull lesson.
And for just generally being lovely and always making me smile, cringe, laugh or otherwise, thank you to everyone that I have shared memories with over the past five years.
Besos ♥
Rachel
It struck me earlier that while I moan a lot and spend a lot of time being deep and reflective, I easily miss the best things in life. I tried to rectify this at Christmas time after watching Adam Hills' DVD, but it sort of failed.
Rubbish things happened today and I realised something that I really should have realised a long time ago: September will come around as usual, and we will all be apart once more, apart in a similar way to how we were apart before starting high school. I like to think that we've all come full circle at the moment, I'm enjoying the few precious weeks I have left with the best friends in the world and the most inspirational people I could wish to know. Those that I don't like seem to be showing their 'true colours' and revealing to everybody why they are so disliked, and those that deserve to do well are doing amazingly.
I've had some amazing memories at school. It, or more specifically room 16...my form room, has been the centre of so many fun times with my friends and I'm genuinely thankful to have had that. It still scares me to think that I have to leave it all behind, but the truth is that we're all moving on.
I have nothing else to post about tonight, but I got my homework out of the way earlier so I don't have anything to do and I felt like posting. Sorry if it's a bit rubbish.
I would just like to end by saying thank you to a bunch of people. I probably won't get the opportunity to thank some of these personally and they may never read this, but I feel the need to do it. So here goes:
Thank you to Fern for constantly being there, always nagging me and injuring me, and for never stopping grinning and laughing wildly.
Thank you to Aiden for being deep and meaningful, encouraging and amusing and just generally mental.
Thank you to Joe for all the innuendo, silly little arguments over the meaning of words/general grammar and reminding me not to post pictures of my dusty rabbit all over Facebook.
Thank you to Eliza, Danny and Zoe for being fabulously insane and hilariously bonkers, for being such a good triple act and for the RSL.
Thank you to Trish and Natalie, my fellow science table mongers, without whom science would be a very dull lesson.
And for just generally being lovely and always making me smile, cringe, laugh or otherwise, thank you to everyone that I have shared memories with over the past five years.
Besos ♥
Rachel
Thursday 22 April 2010
Fundraising and TYSIC
This may come as quite a surprise but for once, I actually have nothing to complain about on here. Shocker, right? Today marked the end of one very long, very tedious, very emotionally hard journey for me: I raised the last £6 of my World Challenge money.
Since January 31st 2009, I have been trying to raise £1095 to go on an expedition to Croatia with 14 other pupils from my school in July of this year. I started with huge amounts of enthusiasm, creating a long list of fundraising ideas I could use and even taking my fundraising folder out with me when I went out for dinner to continue my list. Truth be told, I didn't use it after the first few weeks.
The whole process of raising money has been an emotional one, or at least it has for me. I've had many unfortunate dealings with members of staff and fellow World Challengers that have, quite frankly, left me in floods of tears. But, and this is a big 'but', I have finally raised all of the money needed for the payments and at the beginning of May, I will be able to pay my final £320. I'd still be trying to find a way to raise the final £6 if it wasn't for the awesome generosity of my form tutor (known affectionately to us as 'Ms C') and another maths teacher (known to...everyone...as Mr Price). I know you can't read this...but thank you! :)
And all of that brings me onto the second part of this blog...the TYSIC. I think I mentioned it in a previous post, but I'm not sure. Basically, I'm taking part in comedian Mark Watson's 'Ten Year Self Improvement Challenge'. It's not like you get a medal or anything for participating, the clue is in the title - it's about improving yourself. My personal objectives are the following:
- Stop looking so deeply into things people do/say to me that seem 'bad'...because they're most often not.
- Stop panicking and stressing out over exams and school work (will change to college work in September then hopefully university then hopefully just over work in general).
I was thinking about all of this while walking home after school. I had a conversation with my head of year and then my form tutor about work and my form tutor was talking to me about how much I panic. As I was walking home, I realised that I have been panicking WAY too much over final exams. So the TYSIC hasn't quite started well in that respect, but I realised it and I want to change it, which is a good basis for attempting it. So I feel good about that, even though I haven't done much towards it so far.
In other (non) interesting news from my life, I bought my first full foreign language album the other day. It's in Greek, so I only understand about 5 words out of all of the songs, but I still love all of the songs on it regardless. I was also amused by one of my two PE teachers shouting ''do it with knobs on" rather loudly in the middle of our lesson today. Gotta love teachers. That's about it for today, will hopefully be able to update on the TYSIC in the next few weeks at least.
Besos ♥
Rachel
Since January 31st 2009, I have been trying to raise £1095 to go on an expedition to Croatia with 14 other pupils from my school in July of this year. I started with huge amounts of enthusiasm, creating a long list of fundraising ideas I could use and even taking my fundraising folder out with me when I went out for dinner to continue my list. Truth be told, I didn't use it after the first few weeks.
The whole process of raising money has been an emotional one, or at least it has for me. I've had many unfortunate dealings with members of staff and fellow World Challengers that have, quite frankly, left me in floods of tears. But, and this is a big 'but', I have finally raised all of the money needed for the payments and at the beginning of May, I will be able to pay my final £320. I'd still be trying to find a way to raise the final £6 if it wasn't for the awesome generosity of my form tutor (known affectionately to us as 'Ms C') and another maths teacher (known to...everyone...as Mr Price). I know you can't read this...but thank you! :)
And all of that brings me onto the second part of this blog...the TYSIC. I think I mentioned it in a previous post, but I'm not sure. Basically, I'm taking part in comedian Mark Watson's 'Ten Year Self Improvement Challenge'. It's not like you get a medal or anything for participating, the clue is in the title - it's about improving yourself. My personal objectives are the following:
- Stop looking so deeply into things people do/say to me that seem 'bad'...because they're most often not.
- Stop panicking and stressing out over exams and school work (will change to college work in September then hopefully university then hopefully just over work in general).
I was thinking about all of this while walking home after school. I had a conversation with my head of year and then my form tutor about work and my form tutor was talking to me about how much I panic. As I was walking home, I realised that I have been panicking WAY too much over final exams. So the TYSIC hasn't quite started well in that respect, but I realised it and I want to change it, which is a good basis for attempting it. So I feel good about that, even though I haven't done much towards it so far.
In other (non) interesting news from my life, I bought my first full foreign language album the other day. It's in Greek, so I only understand about 5 words out of all of the songs, but I still love all of the songs on it regardless. I was also amused by one of my two PE teachers shouting ''do it with knobs on" rather loudly in the middle of our lesson today. Gotta love teachers. That's about it for today, will hopefully be able to update on the TYSIC in the next few weeks at least.
Besos ♥
Rachel
Tuesday 20 April 2010
And so the countdown begins...
God knows how I'm finding the time to post right now, but somehow I am. I should probably be doing Spanish revision, trying to understand Mr Cosgrove's handwriting on the maths sheet or ICT coursework, but I've done 3 hours (ish) of Spanish already, most of my maths, and I hate ICT with a passion. And I'm tired. So I'm having a break.
Was back at school yesterday for pretty much the last half term ever (except during exam period, but I'm not counting that) and yesterday was an alright day, if I'm being honest, but today was a bit, well, bleh.
The day started with an assembly, which is never a good thing. However, for once I didn't just leave thinking "yeah, thanks, you've just told me to work harder than is possible, great" which is obviously a good thing. My head of year talked about how we should appreciate our form tutors in these last 4 (ish) weeks and read some quotes they'd written to each form in the yearbook about how "truly magical" the last 5 years have been and how they don't think they'll ever "get such a great form again". It kind of stuck out to me how much we should appreciate our form tutors, mostly because mine has done so much for me since Y7 that I'd have to be the most selfish person on earth not to. I would launch into a few long paragraphs about several events during which she's helped me, but it's a bit pointless telling everyone but not her, if you get what I mean...
What annoyed me about the assembly, though, was how the two people I sit next to (without naming names, they're hideous...and not just in physical features) sat there and mocked each quote that my head of year read out, as if somehow it was hilarious that we should appreciate people doing things for us. What possibly annoyed me more was that they found it hilarious that the form tutors in our year appreciated their time with us.
That's about it for anything I have to say today really, I could type out my Spanish presentation and other 21 paragraphed answers to questions, but they're really quite dull. I need to get myself into gear and organise leaving presents and cards...and messages to go into cards. I also need a 10 day week, it would make time management so much easier...
Besos ♥
Rachel
Was back at school yesterday for pretty much the last half term ever (except during exam period, but I'm not counting that) and yesterday was an alright day, if I'm being honest, but today was a bit, well, bleh.
The day started with an assembly, which is never a good thing. However, for once I didn't just leave thinking "yeah, thanks, you've just told me to work harder than is possible, great" which is obviously a good thing. My head of year talked about how we should appreciate our form tutors in these last 4 (ish) weeks and read some quotes they'd written to each form in the yearbook about how "truly magical" the last 5 years have been and how they don't think they'll ever "get such a great form again". It kind of stuck out to me how much we should appreciate our form tutors, mostly because mine has done so much for me since Y7 that I'd have to be the most selfish person on earth not to. I would launch into a few long paragraphs about several events during which she's helped me, but it's a bit pointless telling everyone but not her, if you get what I mean...
What annoyed me about the assembly, though, was how the two people I sit next to (without naming names, they're hideous...and not just in physical features) sat there and mocked each quote that my head of year read out, as if somehow it was hilarious that we should appreciate people doing things for us. What possibly annoyed me more was that they found it hilarious that the form tutors in our year appreciated their time with us.
That's about it for anything I have to say today really, I could type out my Spanish presentation and other 21 paragraphed answers to questions, but they're really quite dull. I need to get myself into gear and organise leaving presents and cards...and messages to go into cards. I also need a 10 day week, it would make time management so much easier...
Besos ♥
Rachel
Tuesday 13 April 2010
Coincidences and Eurovision
I don't have much to say today, so I won't spend ages boring you with "well yesterday I went to the supermarket" or "I woke up late today and didn't do much". Despite this though, I felt I owed a new post and I also have something silly and irrelevant to get off my chest.
Tuesday 6th April was a bizarre day for me. It was the one year anniversary of the day a friend and I went to see James Morrison live in Sheffield. I can't quite put my finger on what was bizarre about the fact that it had been a year but it just felt that way. Anyway, I think I went into Leeds for the day with family that day, and I was in Hobbycraft when a song came on. But not just any song, You Make It Real by James Morrison. And I'm not even exaggerating, I just completely stopped when I realised which song it was. The song doesn't hold much personal signifiance for me, but it was just a complete coincidence and it was one that almost floored me emotionally. I didn't cry though, so it's all good. I made all of that sound like it was a bad experience, but I don't think it was really. It was a surprisingly pleasant thing to experience and while it may not make much sense to anybody except me, I think I kind of liked it.
And now for the second coincidence of the past week. It's no secret that I'm ridiculously obsessed with the Eurovision Song Contest. In the words of my friend Eliza, it's my guilty pleasure that I'm not guilty about. I always try not to listen to the entries on YouTube but I always fail and end up doing so. This year I held out until a few days ago though, so at least I beat my personal record... Anyway, I found a song I really loved (Life Looks Better in Spring - Jon Lilygreen and The Islanders) and was thinking about it and decided to look up which semi final it would be in. It turns out that it's in the second semi final (irrelevent really)...but also that it's song 14...which is highly relevant to me because 14 is my favourite number. I don't know why and it's not even like it's a lucky number or anything, but for some reason it's my favourite number and I always thought there must be some significance behind it. I suppose that this song makes it significant. That was another coincidence that made me just stop for a moment and realise it. As if that wasn't creepy enough, I just realised something else. The 2008 winner, Dima Bilan, was number 18 in his semi final - that was the song I wanted to win and 18 is what I'd call my 'lucky' number, as it's my birthday.
To be honest, I don't know why I felt the need to get all of that off my chest but I feel better for it. Does anyone else ever feel like that? Where you're somehow 'inspired' by the strangest of things? In other news, I have a new feature towards the bottom of my left-hand sidebar where other blogs can be advertised (preferably in exchange for mine advertised on theirs, but not too fussed). You can check out my friend Aiden's cooking blog by clicking the graphic and if you're interested, leave me a comment and I'll see what I can do :)
Besos ♥
Rachel
PS: Because I forgot the first time I tried posting this, here are a few links to other songs I like for ESC this year :)
3+2 - Butterflies (Belarus)
Sofia Nizharadze - Shine (Georgia)
Jessy Matador - Allez, Ola, Ole (France)
Tom Dice - Me and My Guitar (Belgium)
Let me know what you think to them all :)
Tuesday 6th April was a bizarre day for me. It was the one year anniversary of the day a friend and I went to see James Morrison live in Sheffield. I can't quite put my finger on what was bizarre about the fact that it had been a year but it just felt that way. Anyway, I think I went into Leeds for the day with family that day, and I was in Hobbycraft when a song came on. But not just any song, You Make It Real by James Morrison. And I'm not even exaggerating, I just completely stopped when I realised which song it was. The song doesn't hold much personal signifiance for me, but it was just a complete coincidence and it was one that almost floored me emotionally. I didn't cry though, so it's all good. I made all of that sound like it was a bad experience, but I don't think it was really. It was a surprisingly pleasant thing to experience and while it may not make much sense to anybody except me, I think I kind of liked it.
And now for the second coincidence of the past week. It's no secret that I'm ridiculously obsessed with the Eurovision Song Contest. In the words of my friend Eliza, it's my guilty pleasure that I'm not guilty about. I always try not to listen to the entries on YouTube but I always fail and end up doing so. This year I held out until a few days ago though, so at least I beat my personal record... Anyway, I found a song I really loved (Life Looks Better in Spring - Jon Lilygreen and The Islanders) and was thinking about it and decided to look up which semi final it would be in. It turns out that it's in the second semi final (irrelevent really)...but also that it's song 14...which is highly relevant to me because 14 is my favourite number. I don't know why and it's not even like it's a lucky number or anything, but for some reason it's my favourite number and I always thought there must be some significance behind it. I suppose that this song makes it significant. That was another coincidence that made me just stop for a moment and realise it. As if that wasn't creepy enough, I just realised something else. The 2008 winner, Dima Bilan, was number 18 in his semi final - that was the song I wanted to win and 18 is what I'd call my 'lucky' number, as it's my birthday.
To be honest, I don't know why I felt the need to get all of that off my chest but I feel better for it. Does anyone else ever feel like that? Where you're somehow 'inspired' by the strangest of things? In other news, I have a new feature towards the bottom of my left-hand sidebar where other blogs can be advertised (preferably in exchange for mine advertised on theirs, but not too fussed). You can check out my friend Aiden's cooking blog by clicking the graphic and if you're interested, leave me a comment and I'll see what I can do :)
Besos ♥
Rachel
PS: Because I forgot the first time I tried posting this, here are a few links to other songs I like for ESC this year :)
3+2 - Butterflies (Belarus)
Sofia Nizharadze - Shine (Georgia)
Jessy Matador - Allez, Ola, Ole (France)
Tom Dice - Me and My Guitar (Belgium)
Let me know what you think to them all :)
Sunday 4 April 2010
Ocultar - To Hide
I wish I could just tell a story about playing hide and seek, it would make things so much simpler than they actually are. Well, I say that like things are incredibly messed up, they're not at all (anymore). But for once, I'm not writing about my own problem. I'm actually writing about the problems of others (and one person in particular).
I remember very clearly being in Y7 and being threatened via MSN by somebody's sister that she would ''smash my face in with an iron'' if I ''said something again''. I still have no idea what I supposedly said, but I do still remember how ridiculous the whole thing was. I also remember sitting on the stairs and crying...yeah...great.
Anyway, you're probably wondering what this has to do with my title of 'Hiding'. I suppose it mostly comes from the fact that the girl who said those things was hiding...hiding behind her computer, hiding behind the fact that she was typing to another computer, hiding behing the fact that we'd never, ever, spoken to eachother in real life. Which is what winds me up so much.
It's too easy for people to hide behind their computer and be vile to others.
And it's also too easy to brush them off as being cowardly and pathetic.
I'm not trying to say that people who make petty threats via the internet can in any way justify their actions, because I don't really think they can. To me, if you mess up, you mess up - you can't cover it up with excuses because either way, you still did it and it's still your fault. But seriously, you have to wonder how messed up some people really are, if the only way they can express their dislike of people is over the internet. Better still, not even directly to those they dislike.
I guess I don't understand it because I do understand that if I need to sort something out in person, I will. But it seems that way too many people of my age enjoy hiding behind their computer screen instead of being honest and realistic. The only reasoning behind any of this that I can see would be that they have a lot of insecurities towards confronting their own emotions, and also a lot of insecurities towards their peers. Back in Y7, I think I'm probably guilty of the second one, but I don't recall ever 'threatening' someone online because I was too scared to do it in person. This post definitely seems to link in with another recent post of mine, Affirmation, so if you're wanting the bigger picture it would probably make most sense to hop on over to that and give it a quick read (and of course, a comment :P)
So, I'm definitely going to try and be nothing but honest on here from now on, no hiding behind an on-screen persona or any of that.
And lastly, just a quick update on the blog redesign. I've also changed the sidebar on the left hand side and it now contains a few pictures, two taken by myself with my dad's camera and the others made to fit the blog's graphics featuring song lyrics that can be found here (Silencio - Nelly Furtado & Josh Groban), here (Primavera Anticipada - Laura Pausini & James Blunt) and here (Lloro Por Ti - Enrique Iglesias). As always, let me know what you think to the songs and of course, leave any suggestions you have for music you want me to listen to. I'll give anything you suggest a listen :)
I also have one final request before I go, and it may seem a bit strange but here goes anyway. I'm a HUGE fan of comedian/writer Mark Watson, and have been following his blog (and indeed participating in his TYSIC by trying to be more optimistic) since he properly began it in January. He recently posted about basically trying to help those who read his blog by opening his comments up to people asking for help with their problems. And after having mine answered (thank you Mark!) I decided I want to try and do the same. I'm definitely not trying to claim I'm amazing at giving advice and that all of your problems will be solved if I answer them, but it's worth a shot and I like to think I'm pretty good at helping people deal with things like that. So, no matter how big or small, please feel free to leave your problem in a comment and I'll try my absolute best to get back to you in a post in a few days.
Besos ♥
Rachel
I remember very clearly being in Y7 and being threatened via MSN by somebody's sister that she would ''smash my face in with an iron'' if I ''said something again''. I still have no idea what I supposedly said, but I do still remember how ridiculous the whole thing was. I also remember sitting on the stairs and crying...yeah...great.
Anyway, you're probably wondering what this has to do with my title of 'Hiding'. I suppose it mostly comes from the fact that the girl who said those things was hiding...hiding behind her computer, hiding behind the fact that she was typing to another computer, hiding behing the fact that we'd never, ever, spoken to eachother in real life. Which is what winds me up so much.
It's too easy for people to hide behind their computer and be vile to others.
And it's also too easy to brush them off as being cowardly and pathetic.
I'm not trying to say that people who make petty threats via the internet can in any way justify their actions, because I don't really think they can. To me, if you mess up, you mess up - you can't cover it up with excuses because either way, you still did it and it's still your fault. But seriously, you have to wonder how messed up some people really are, if the only way they can express their dislike of people is over the internet. Better still, not even directly to those they dislike.
I guess I don't understand it because I do understand that if I need to sort something out in person, I will. But it seems that way too many people of my age enjoy hiding behind their computer screen instead of being honest and realistic. The only reasoning behind any of this that I can see would be that they have a lot of insecurities towards confronting their own emotions, and also a lot of insecurities towards their peers. Back in Y7, I think I'm probably guilty of the second one, but I don't recall ever 'threatening' someone online because I was too scared to do it in person. This post definitely seems to link in with another recent post of mine, Affirmation, so if you're wanting the bigger picture it would probably make most sense to hop on over to that and give it a quick read (and of course, a comment :P)
So, I'm definitely going to try and be nothing but honest on here from now on, no hiding behind an on-screen persona or any of that.
And lastly, just a quick update on the blog redesign. I've also changed the sidebar on the left hand side and it now contains a few pictures, two taken by myself with my dad's camera and the others made to fit the blog's graphics featuring song lyrics that can be found here (Silencio - Nelly Furtado & Josh Groban), here (Primavera Anticipada - Laura Pausini & James Blunt) and here (Lloro Por Ti - Enrique Iglesias). As always, let me know what you think to the songs and of course, leave any suggestions you have for music you want me to listen to. I'll give anything you suggest a listen :)
I also have one final request before I go, and it may seem a bit strange but here goes anyway. I'm a HUGE fan of comedian/writer Mark Watson, and have been following his blog (and indeed participating in his TYSIC by trying to be more optimistic) since he properly began it in January. He recently posted about basically trying to help those who read his blog by opening his comments up to people asking for help with their problems. And after having mine answered (thank you Mark!) I decided I want to try and do the same. I'm definitely not trying to claim I'm amazing at giving advice and that all of your problems will be solved if I answer them, but it's worth a shot and I like to think I'm pretty good at helping people deal with things like that. So, no matter how big or small, please feel free to leave your problem in a comment and I'll try my absolute best to get back to you in a post in a few days.
Besos ♥
Rachel
Change, Change, Change
Just a quick post today, nothing too exciting. Just thought I'd better address the fact that (obviously) there have been some major design changes to the blog. I was getting a bit bored of the very obvious Blogger layout so I spent all of this afternoon creating graphics (header and sidebar). Don't get me wrong, I liked the old layout and it did match my personality reasonably well but it didn't feel personalised enough...whereas I think the new layout is much more personalised and suits me better. What do you all think? (And before you all totally trash my new graphics, I spent all afternoon creating them and I don't quite know why the colour looks a bit faded, it wasn't when I uploaded them. Hmmm....)
I also have a few technical glitches with font colour on certain links, I'm aware of this and looking into fixing it. Bear with me please, I am in no way a technical person, let alone web programming/codes and that sort of thing.
In other news, my friend Eliza's throwing a charity fundraiser in May for a charity doing some amazing work. You can check out what they're doing here: http://www.sophielancasterfoundation.com
Besos ♥
Rachel
I also have a few technical glitches with font colour on certain links, I'm aware of this and looking into fixing it. Bear with me please, I am in no way a technical person, let alone web programming/codes and that sort of thing.
In other news, my friend Eliza's throwing a charity fundraiser in May for a charity doing some amazing work. You can check out what they're doing here: http://www.sophielancasterfoundation.com
Besos ♥
Rachel
Saturday 3 April 2010
Affirmation
...is a silly word in the grand scheme of things. We all want it and we all get it, even when we feel like "nobody loves us" and "everything hates us". I suppose it's also all too ironic that I'm sitting in bed late at night (because less people are online/bothering me with mindless banter) listening to This is Me by Faith Hill. Powerful lyrics to inspire me or something like that, supposedly.
But the thing is, I can mock myself for listening to it all I want. The lyrics are inspiring me, and I don't care how 'lame' that sounds.
It's fair to say that since just before Christmas, I've been slowly spiralling downwards emotions wise. No, it wasn't fun at all and I'm not going to try and glamourise it by covering the fact that I had a serious problem up by saying "but I learnt such a fabulous lesson and it was all worth it", because I don't think that amount of months spent feeling depressed is worth anything. But I did learn something. I learnt that no matter how badly you act, how unimportant you feel, how wrapped up in your own self-righteousness you become and how boring and dull to be around you seem...there will always be somebody who thinks you act perfectly fine, somebody who thinks you're of the highest importance, somebody who knows why you're being so self-righteous and somebody who never finds you dull.
Yes, that is true.
I spent a fair bit of time reading somebody's blog tonight. I'll start by just explaining something...I wouldn't class her as somebody I 'know'. But at the same time, I know lots about her. And to be perfectly honest, she seems to symbolise everything I would hate to become, which is confusing when you think about the fact that I sat and read her entire blog. I learnt a great deal about her, why she acts so self obsessed and why she acts the way she does. I won't divulge anymore details, I'm not that sort of person, but I will say that it taught me that affirmation matters just as much to people who have 'everything' to people who have 'nothing'. And it's always justified.
Recently, I seem to have just stopped caring about affirmation from my peers. I don't know why or even how it happened, but I have. It feels good, actually, so good that I want to share something. For a long time I've been somewhat afraid of people knowing my interests. I don't know why, but I have. Perhaps because for a long time I felt opressed personality wise by some friends I had, or even perhaps because I wanted affirmation and knew I wouldn't get it. Either way, the thought of people finding out who I liked musically terrified me. Whatever.
Musically, I like to think my tastes are varied. I seem to put a barrier up that prevents me from conforming or becoming too mainstream. I've never been one to fit in with anything, so why should I be with music? I'm a self-confessed Eurovision freak, and I regularly listen to artists I discovered through previous years' contests (Dima Bilan, Sakis Rouvas). I suppose this ties in nicely with another of my strange tastes, though not musical. If I could never go to school, college, uni, work, wherever, again and could just attend regular foreign language lessons in various languages I would be perfectly happy. It seems that every year I ''fall in love'' with a new language and begin to attempt to learn it - mostly failing due to a lack of time and accurate resources. I have plans for this summer, though, and am determined to begin with Greek (via Byki software). I'm hoping to do a beginner course in either French or Italian at college (if they run the course this year) too.
^ All of that...is most definitely not cool. Unless you happen to be me, and I think it's incredibly cool. Why? Because they're my own interests, so of course I'm going to have a fairly high interest in them. And that is genuinely the only point I have on offer to justify that, but it's basically the only point I think anyone should be able to seriously use. Being able to talk about how artistic a hobby is and how significant to the world it is does not justify the fact that you like it, because you obviously only like it for the fact that it makes you seem artistic and significant. In which case you may as well slap a sign to your forehead saying "loser" for all I care.
I'm rambling, so I'll wrap the post and let you go on your merry way (that, and my friend Eliza is talking to me via Facebook chat and the screen freezes each time a new message comes up...making for a very irate blogger. Not good).
Besos ♥
Rachel
But the thing is, I can mock myself for listening to it all I want. The lyrics are inspiring me, and I don't care how 'lame' that sounds.
It's fair to say that since just before Christmas, I've been slowly spiralling downwards emotions wise. No, it wasn't fun at all and I'm not going to try and glamourise it by covering the fact that I had a serious problem up by saying "but I learnt such a fabulous lesson and it was all worth it", because I don't think that amount of months spent feeling depressed is worth anything. But I did learn something. I learnt that no matter how badly you act, how unimportant you feel, how wrapped up in your own self-righteousness you become and how boring and dull to be around you seem...there will always be somebody who thinks you act perfectly fine, somebody who thinks you're of the highest importance, somebody who knows why you're being so self-righteous and somebody who never finds you dull.
Yes, that is true.
I spent a fair bit of time reading somebody's blog tonight. I'll start by just explaining something...I wouldn't class her as somebody I 'know'. But at the same time, I know lots about her. And to be perfectly honest, she seems to symbolise everything I would hate to become, which is confusing when you think about the fact that I sat and read her entire blog. I learnt a great deal about her, why she acts so self obsessed and why she acts the way she does. I won't divulge anymore details, I'm not that sort of person, but I will say that it taught me that affirmation matters just as much to people who have 'everything' to people who have 'nothing'. And it's always justified.
Recently, I seem to have just stopped caring about affirmation from my peers. I don't know why or even how it happened, but I have. It feels good, actually, so good that I want to share something. For a long time I've been somewhat afraid of people knowing my interests. I don't know why, but I have. Perhaps because for a long time I felt opressed personality wise by some friends I had, or even perhaps because I wanted affirmation and knew I wouldn't get it. Either way, the thought of people finding out who I liked musically terrified me. Whatever.
Musically, I like to think my tastes are varied. I seem to put a barrier up that prevents me from conforming or becoming too mainstream. I've never been one to fit in with anything, so why should I be with music? I'm a self-confessed Eurovision freak, and I regularly listen to artists I discovered through previous years' contests (Dima Bilan, Sakis Rouvas). I suppose this ties in nicely with another of my strange tastes, though not musical. If I could never go to school, college, uni, work, wherever, again and could just attend regular foreign language lessons in various languages I would be perfectly happy. It seems that every year I ''fall in love'' with a new language and begin to attempt to learn it - mostly failing due to a lack of time and accurate resources. I have plans for this summer, though, and am determined to begin with Greek (via Byki software). I'm hoping to do a beginner course in either French or Italian at college (if they run the course this year) too.
^ All of that...is most definitely not cool. Unless you happen to be me, and I think it's incredibly cool. Why? Because they're my own interests, so of course I'm going to have a fairly high interest in them. And that is genuinely the only point I have on offer to justify that, but it's basically the only point I think anyone should be able to seriously use. Being able to talk about how artistic a hobby is and how significant to the world it is does not justify the fact that you like it, because you obviously only like it for the fact that it makes you seem artistic and significant. In which case you may as well slap a sign to your forehead saying "loser" for all I care.
I'm rambling, so I'll wrap the post and let you go on your merry way (that, and my friend Eliza is talking to me via Facebook chat and the screen freezes each time a new message comes up...making for a very irate blogger. Not good).
Besos ♥
Rachel
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)