Hvala Hrvatska

I allowed myself to do something out of the ordinary for me earlier today - I let myself get excited about something - Poland. For some reason I never feel like I'm allowed to get excited about things, I don't know if it's because if I do, I end up being disappointed by it or left feeling like its let me down, but I just don't.

Sarah and I were talking about it on the bus home quite a lot today. I love Sarah, I didn't know her all that well in high school, but we sat practically next to each other in Maths and she was one of the people I went to prom with. I sit with her in English and it's definitely made us closer. Anyway, I love that I'm going to Poland with not just her, but Beth and Talor (and Beth's boyfriend, Alex, who I vaguely know) too. It's a college trip, but still, I'm going with people I know...well.

I never got excited about Croatia, not ever, but I think it taught me that it's alright to look forward to things, and if you get let down by them then it's always for a reason and there's always something good in it even if it's not that obvious. I think perhaps I'm much more relaxed about the idea of going to a different country with my college than I was when it was Croatia. It's obviously completely different (last time was a week of physical challenges, this is visiting Auschwitz and is quite focused on the Holocaust), but still, I think I have the confidence to do it anyway. I also found out that Jade from the Amnesty Group is going too, so even though we're not exactly friends I'm happy that I know someone other than the people I'm friends with...if that makes sense.

But it was just nice, you know, to talk about it on the bus and speculate together about the things we'll do and see. I don't feel as insecure about being 'abandoned' by the people I know with this, because I think I genuinely know deep down that I won't be, I can't say that I did with Croatia - though I was lucky because our team was AMAZING and I wouldn't have changed them for the world.

I've been a bit depressed about various things recently, mainly stress about the amount of coursework that seems to have been thrust upon me (Media is ALL due in tomorrow, having harrassments with the printer really doesn't help with that...), but I was also a bit down because I haven't had anything to look forward to - anything to get me through the weeks where I've been exhausted and ill and fed up of everything - and then today I realised that I do, and it's alright that I let myself look forward to it.

Today was a bit more 'normal', English Language was spent mainly just chatting with the people I was in the computer room with (Sarah, Adele, Amy, Leanne, Harley, Helen, Beth) and moaning about our teacher - we haven't been able to just chill and talk in SO long. We were obviously doing coursework at the same time, but it was nice to have some independence in there rather than just listening to our teacher talk and talk and talk... It reminded me of when we first started college and everyone got to know each other. I love our AS class, I'll be gutted when we get split up for A2 :( Everyone shares the same hatred for the subject and one of our teachers, plus everybody seems to get along which is pretty awesome to say we've got a full class of people :)


Workshop period was mainly filled by a college magazine meeting, where I was amused to hear Sophie (link to her blog will be on my recommended list very shortly!) count in French to herself (I LOVE languages geeks :D) and the teacher in charge refer to the editorial as a ''cheeky little piece''. Oh dear... I also managed to get an email interview with Dean Smith who played Phil in Waterloo Road for the first issue - the email came through right at the beginning of the meeting, incredible timing.


Have a good Thursday, everybody :)


Besos ♥
Rachel