Before I get started on what I really have to say, that title has nothing to do with anything I'm writing about. I just like the song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHgBcthsblY) and couldn't think of a title.
Now...
It's fair to say that lately, I've been distancing myself from a lot of thing - from my friends, from my family, from anything online, from my college work a little too. Why? I honestly couldn't tell you. I suppose when you're going through something difficult, things like that tend to happen, though. Thinking about it, I was sick of explaining the same stories to everybody every time I saw them, I was tired of feeling like I had a duty to keep everybody updated on every single aspect of my life at the time. Especially when they can't do anything to help you with the things that are causing you trouble.
So, this week I've slowly been building back up to shortening that distance a little. I've been almost living in the language lab to get back up to speed with all the college work I missed without being able to access a computer at home. I also went and sat with the usual crowd in G block for a while today. And I've realised one vital thing: distance can be a good thing.
Why? People get agitated and bored of the same people and the same conversations every day of their lives. You then start misreading their body language, the looks they give you, the words they choose, as all being that they're unhappy with you. But when there's a bit of distance between you every now and then, you actually find you have things to talk about - it's not just dragging yourself over the same point again and again until there's nothing left to say. And certainly for me, creating a bit of distance between me and my friends has helped. I still know what's going on with people, but I haven't found myself completely wrapped up in what they're all doing, because I'm not really ever there to witness anything. And equally, I'm getting my work done and coming home with nothing to do. I'm not saying there's no downside, but it can work to your advantage.
Even more equally, the fact that my laptop decided that functioning was no longer its favourite task has worked to my advantage. The distance that was placed between me and social networking has meant that again, I haven't found myself wrapped up in what everybody else is doing. I haven't had a moment recently where I've caught myself ranting about pointless Facebook statuses or what A said to B. Don't get me wrong, I've also spent a large amount of time making virtual pizzas on an iPhone app I have, but it's not like I've spent even more time telling people about it (until now, but this doesn't count).
So yes, today's lesson has been that distance can work, and it can work well too. I'm slowly sorting out my headspace and everything else on top of that, but I'm not sure I could be doing that if everything was just as intense as it was before...
Besos ♥
Rachel
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