Hello, stranger

To those of you who didn't totally give up on me - do you remember me mentioning laptop problems? Well, here we are a month later and with a new laptop. Yeah, that one ended well. It's been an odd month, I've kind of had nothing to do, but I'm SO behind on college work now due to not having access to PowerPoint (I have a vendetta against that program, it makes me so angry...) - awesome.

Anyway, I'm back. Properly. Unless, of course, this new laptop decides that just completely ceasing to work is its best option, in which case you will find me hitting my head against a brick wall with considerable force. Moving on...

I'm exhausted and have nothing particularly interesting to say tonight, it's been an odd sort of day where I've spent most of it in the language lab finishing my EP presentation on the Hebrew alphabet...only for the teacher to be ill. Please tell me my life isn't the only one that has a habit of just being annoying? Here are a few pictures of what I've been up to recently...

In the holidays, my parents, my brother and I went to Edinburgh - also known as the city full of roadworks...everywhere. We only went for two nights, so we only really had one full day as two days were spent sitting in the back of my dad's car. The highlights were finding an international newsagents (Spanish magazines = entire week made), seeing a member of college staff in the queue for Edinburgh Castle and being able to sleep, slightly, during the second night. Oh, and the GIANT Starbucks I had, that was also good. 

Last Thursday and Friday, we held our first proper Amnesty Group campaign of the year. This is the only 'group' shot we got, which doesn't contain at least half of the group. We got about 160 signatures that will be sent off as part of the campaign for the human rights of the Roma people throughout Europe. From left to right in the picture, there is Jade, myself, Emma, Kim and Matthew. 

On Saturday I went to the lovely Sophie's awesome Bonfire Night party. Here's a pic of the hostess and I ;-) The party started with 7ish teenagers lining up and forming a human converyor belt to pass massive rocks across her garden, we nearly set her neighbour's tree on fire and a fire engine drove past her house at one point too. But other than the near fire, as Sophie would say, les bon temps.

Finally, Jess drew this drawing of college life while we were in the lab yesterday (she was supposed to be doing English Lit, I was typing out the Hebrew alphabet, fun stuff...). It gave us plenty of amusement, anyway. Her updated version is more amusing - probably means nothing if you don't go to our college, though.


Tomorrow is open evening and Jess, Sophie, Cory and I are all going out for food seen as we have most of the afternoon free and don't have to be back at college until 6pm. Open evenings are significantly better than average college days...


Will be back soon with proper posts again, I've missed writing :-(


Besos ♥
Rachel

The Next Generation

If you read here relatively often, you'll know that I run the Amnesty International Student Group at my college. Well, we launched properly on Wednesday 5th October, and oh my gosh, I am SO excited by the new group!

We are yet to take a group picture, so here's a screenshot of the minutes from that meeting. I also already know the new people by their names, which is greatly helpful :-)

This week we spent the whole meeting brainstorming ideas for the Roma campaign in November, and everybody was SO enthusiastic. We've decided on a travelling circus theme and we're setting our plans in action. I'm so, so excited by it all. I loved how much the new group got into planning it all - we've got a proper theme and so many ideas, the main task will be choosing which ones we can't do. Did I mention that I was excited?...

We also got a display up in the LRC, and when we take it down next week, the butterflies and kites will go in our display cabinet in the common room. We have plenty to get done on Wednesday 3rd November - we'll be turning the common room into a circus, and changing the cabinet around. It's a good job I can drive myself home now ;-)

Overall, so far, I absolutely LOVE the new group. I've been nicknamed 'Big Rachel' and 'Raquel', though, because we now have another Rachel ('Little Rachel'). I actually can't wait to get things moving properly :-)

Besos ♥
Rachel

Positivity Challenge - Balancing the storm with the calm

I wasn't sure if I was serious about posting properly about the positivity challenge I've set myself, but I've been re-reading all of my past posts (which I wouldn't recommend you do all in one go, they all make for a pretty depressing read really) and the negativity in them has inspired me. Plus, I have something to report back on.

I've even changed my second TYSIC (click here if you don't get what that means) from ''have more optimism'' to ''be positive''. Let's face it, saying I needed ''more optimism'' implied that I had it in the first place, and I didn't. So, I've stuck it in the imperative and simplified it as much as possible. I have my positivty challenge, and am already repeating it to myself at least hourly.

Be positive.

The TYSIC is something that a lot of people have probably now abandoned, and most of my updates from the past year have been pretty negative - thus defeating the whole objective. For example...

"Stressing about (ironically) the Psychology test on stress"

"STRESSING...That sums my life and TYSICs up very accurately."

"Going horribly due to bitchy girl in media"

"Somebody who I despise with a passion thinks she's funny and is trying to cyber bully me."

Be positive.

Today I was faced with a pretty rubbish situation (my college is great at welcoming us back, you know) - oh no, I thought I could at least get through the week without wanting to scream at someone. 

Basically, a member of staff lied to the Amnesty Group about getting a budget - the lie is one thing we're currently unsure of, but there was one. It could have been:
a) You have a budget this year;
b) You're getting a budget again next year;
c) There is no money for a budget;
or d) You never had a budget in the first place.
Either way, I know what was said and I know that the same person saying we didn't, also told me that we did, many times. If there's no money at all, that's fine, but implying that I'm stupid for ''thinking we did'' doesn't solve anything, it just digs deeper into my insecurities. 

Be positive.

Anyway, I came away from that conversation shaking. I thoroughly despise adults who try and assert themselves by making you feel like a small child who has done something wrong. I could've, if I'd thought about it too much, cried. Instead, I told the member of staff who's in charge of us all, told Jade (the VP) and then talked to Zoe for a while before my mum picked me up. I stayed away from indulging my angry side in repeated conversations about how thoroughly annoyed I was. I repeated ''be positive'' to myself over and over and got on with my English/Psychology work. 

I wanted to cry, I wanted to go running to Alison (the member of staff in charge of us all) and tell her how upsetting it was to be talked to in the manner I was. I didn't. It's not worth it. The member of staff who upset me probably didn't even realise how she was coming across - she's not a teacher and doesn't deal with anything related to student welfare in college. She was, apparently, ''very busy'' at the time which may explain a little of it. I was also busy, busy trying not to cry. But anyway...

Here's what I've realised: when college tell you that ''the first few weeks are VITAL'', they're not lying. They're not just trying to sound good or like they know what they're talking about...because they do know what they're talking about. Last year, I was upset in the first few weeks because I wasn't strong enough to deal with things, was used to the support of an amazing tutor, and had never been in such an overwhelming social environment. This year, I know what I can do, and what I need to do; I have friends who I love dearly and I have new friends that I am excited to get to know better; I have focus and I am NOT going to let myself slip back into what I can only describe as depression*.


Be positive.

From now on, I am:
- Going to write honestly about how the whole ''try and be positive'' thing is going;
- Going to appreciate the small things;
- Going to look for the little things that make it all worth it;
- Going to prove everybody wrong;
- Going to live.


Besos ♥ 
Rachel

* I say depression because a) after studying it a little in Psychology, I'm genuinely sure that's what it was and b) my mum also thinks it was

"Renacerás, no esperes más. Ahora, es el momento." - Ricky Martin - Te Vas (cringeworthy song, good motivation)

Hi, neglected blog :)

Like the title? It's arguably the most appropriate right now. So, was back at college last Monday, had all of the Amnesty stuff to deal with and then it's been fairly quiet so far. Although, exciting news, the Amnesty group *were* at 27 on the Youth Raise Off table with the last piece of post we received, and that's before they received the rest of our donations for the year. I'm excited to see our final placing when it's all finalised at the end of June.

I go to Poland this Wednesday through until Sunday, so unless I can access the internet in a café or something, I won't be blogging then either. As with Croatia, I'll be keeping a diary then typing it all up and posting it afterwards though. We're visiting Auschwitz, Schindler's Factory and a few other places, plus going on a ''hilarious'' ghost tour, apparently. I met one of my room buddies today for the first time, so that was nice, plus she seems lovely. Luckily we both know our other room buddy, Sarah :)

Today was RIDICULOUSLY hot. College was literally like an oven all day. Except for the language lab which is always cool because it has air conditioning. I was in there twice, thank goodness! I spent the afternoon sitting on the floor in my dad's office reading puntoycoma and reading all about one random man's experience of visiting Iran. I probably added to the insanity of the Wakefield Decorator's office, to be honest. I've got a bunch of rock my uncle gave me earlier in my bag, actually, I dread to think how melted it is...

I may be back tomorrow, if not, have a good week and I'll see you when I'm back from Poland :)


Besos ♥ 
Rachel