Words

I'll sort the font out on this later, I'm posting from my iPod so I have no font options. Grrr.

Right. I received a message earlier, from somebody that I know is likely to be reading this. I'm not going to dignify it with a personal response, I'm not looking for an argument and I certainly don't need yet another person telling me what a horrible person I am, but I want to say the following, to anyone that happens to read this (though in my own head I'm talking to the many, many people that have hurt me in the past few years.

Your words, all of them, have hurt me, even more so because they are all from behind the safety and security of a keyboard. I am too sensitive, and I know this isn't a good trait but it is who I am, so accept it. I am tired of being portrayed as the bad guy, when I know, truly in my heart, that I am not.

Here's the thing. If you say/send me a horrible email/message, I will get upset. Nobody truly knows how insecure I am. I have cried for an hour tonight over the latest horrible message in my inbox, and I can guarantee I will with the next. Nobody ever knows this, because I'm too dignified to tell them, but to all of those people that have sent me messages, shouted abuse at me, joined in with online hate campaigns: you win. I am no longer willing to pretend that you don't upset me, why should I have to spend so much time pretending everything is alright when it's not?

Accusations, it's all relative. There's a way of saying things and it's not just to accuse people of things. My generation are all so petty, everyone's fault but their own. Well you know what? It's not my fault, and from now on I'm not going to let anybody force me to believe it is. I'm not going to apologise for being myself.