If you want bleeding ears, listen to the top 50 songs on iTunes...

You could always, of course, try artists such as Rihanna, Lady GaGa or Cheryl Cole too - but that's only if you want really badly bleeding ears...

On a more serious note though, why is it that barely any of the decent music gets into the charts anymore? I really don't have the time to do a full blog post tonight, I've got three exams this week and had one this afternoon so I'm revising like mad. Fun times... Anyway, instead I thought I'd post something that I wrote in English ages ago and posted on my old blog at the time. Forgive me if some of the references are now a bit out of date.

"iTunes. With it we moan, and without it we‘re just as unhappy. Since 2001 it’s been slowly taking the music industry and condensing it into a handy pocket sized electronic device perfect for torturing us with on trains, buses, or any other form of hideous public transport. Don’t lie, we’ve all been there. You’re sitting happily watching the countryside flash by when some moron sidles alongside you, playing the latest tunes through their headphones so loud the whole carriage, or in fact the whole train, can too share the thrilling experience of 'Tinie Tempah' or Ke$ha...

And none of us would mind if they listened to it quietly, but no, they don’t. These people take pride in how loud their iPod can go and how many people they can irritate to the point where someone will inevitably go “Could you turn that down please?” and the moron with the music will screech some hideous response about how it’s a ‘free world’ and how they can ‘do what they like’.

Even better, the ‘artists’ producing this tasteless trash don’t show any signs of remorse either. Ironik probably doesn’t understand the meaning of his own name, Lazee can’t be bothered to pick up a dictionary and The Yeah You’s should be approached with great caution…either that, or armour - the choice is yours. Some so called artists’ names are even unpronounceable, take ‘Deadmau5’ for example. Whoever they are, they probably get downloads simply because people want to know if during the ‘song’, they say their own name.

The songs themselves are equally as ridiculous. Kiss Me Thru the Phone (you know the one, that catchy tune that goes something along the lines of: She call my phone like/
Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da) is a touching tale of how Soulja Boy misses his ‘girl’ when she’s away while Beyoncé is encouraging all the Single Ladies to Put A Ring On It - we can only assume she means a finger, although she could obviously be talking about a group of atoms linked by bonds that could be represented graphically in circular or triangular form - it’s getting to be just as common as singing about heartbreak or being in lust these days. I think Daniel Merriweather sums it all up best with “You took something perfect and painted it red.”

Then of course there’s the charming Lady BlahBlah (real name Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta - you can see why she changed it). Her unique combination of 70s synth pop and dance music has more recently captured the musical minds of what seems to be the entire world. The reviews for her album though, are hilarious. One feature about iTunes that can’t be criticised is the ability to slate or rate any single or album in whichever way you see fit. ‘Chris_Here’ concluded: ‘This is one of them albums where you can listen to it without skipping’ while ‘Chica Guacamole’, as a 19 year old girl, “is quite frankly embarrassed that this album is considered to be the soundtrack to the year for her generation” and starts her review saying: “If swine flu were an album, this is what it would sound like…”

The somewhat genius new changes to pricing hasn’t done much for the favour of iTunes either. The coolest, hippest, most downloaded songs are now a staggering 99p (free from Limewire); the middle class, average, catchy but not amazing tunes are still a decent 79p (again, free from Limewire) and the burnt out, tacky noises are a mere 59p (no one wants these, yet alone free from Limewire.) As well as the fact that no one will buy these 59p songs, simply because they’re 59p and we’re all music snobs now, can you imagine the crushing feeling of defeat you’d feel as a 59p artist? You’re not even worthy of the normal price, that’s how bad you are. But saying that, how can iTunes be even legally allowed, yet alone morally allowed, to charge £1 for rubbish like Paparazzi or the ever popular Kiss Me Thru the Phone?

For a long time now the music industry has not been about the quality of the music, the artist or even the song. No, the music industry is about how many records you can sell within the shortest period of time. And yeah, fair enough, it makes sense. But surely we shouldn’t be allowed to get away with compromising the product being sold? Even the thrilling Saturday evening talent show (well, at least it used to be) The X-Factor has jumped on the quick download bandwagon, releasing the official winners singles on iTunes and online before anywhere else, ‘cause apparently so many people want to download the latest cover version of Hallelujah or A Moment Like This (speaking of that Leona woman, she totally killed Snow Patrol’s ‘Run’). The online music download giant now even has its own festival (coincidentally named ‘iTunes Festival’) that takes place each year - it’s ridiculous. Do we honestly care so much about a piece of technology that we cannot live our lives without it?

Well, yes, we do. Even I am guilty of spending obscene amounts buying songs I’ll never really need or want on a regular basis. For instance, I recently bought an audio book of a favourite comedian of mine purely because it was reduced (for those interested, Mark Watson Makes the World Substantially Better - hilarious if you like Welsh people, terrible poetry, or Tim Minchin). When the price popped up on the screen I was so excited I had to hold myself back from screaming and running for my iPod like a child in Toys R Us. Audiobooks, they’re a newfangled aspect of technology. The clue is really in the title, they read to the lazy, the blind and those that feel ill when reading in the car but there’s no writing for the deaf. Surely they can’t get away with that?! As well as audio books we’ve got films (one day they may understand that we have portable DVD players for those); TV programmes (although there’s a rule in the iTunes office that states whole series may not be uploaded to the store); music videos (yeah, ‘cause we really want the song and the video so we can go “Ooh I’ve got the matching pair!”); Podcasts (which is just radio but pre-recorded); iPod games and now applications (anyone else ever needed to use a spirit level whilst on their iPod? No, I didn’t think so.)

So with the wide range of random assorted junk that can now be downloaded from iTunes, it’s hard not to find yourself buying into the global music phenomenon - I mean come on, who doesn’t want Octahedron by The Mars Volta or series one of Undercover Boss from Channel 4? You don’t even have to have an iPod anymore, you can just sign up and spend away regardless of where your purchase will actually end up. We salute you iTunes, only you could take our hard-earned pennies and still leave us wanting more…"

To be fair to iTunes though, there are occasionally some pleasant surprises such as finding new artists through recommendations and the app store will keep me amused for a long, long time if necessary. I suppose the hideous state of the 'Top Songs' is down to 'our generation' and the music produced by it, but if I'm growing up in this generation...I'm kind of ashamed.

What do you think? Are you pleased with the British charts or would you make drastic changes?

Besos ♥
Rachel