Just...nice

Ever had one of those moments where you try to sum up how things feel and you really can't? That's kind of how I feel right now. In essence, things are ''just nice'' for me at the moment - I finished buying my things for prom this afternoon and made a productive start on my summer project too by buying an A5 folder and printing off the relevant cards to go in it. Tomorrow, I'm going for my hair doing and styling the way I want it for prom then I'm going for lunch with my cousin, Becky. I have one exam left and then my entire summer to do whatever I want, whenever I want. I could get used to the later nights and more relaxed mornings, I really could.

I always thought that I'd be devastated when school ended. I think to some extent, I was. I found it hard to believe people when they told me that I'd ''get over it'' and that I'd be completely fine. There are lots of things I'm missing, but I'm actually fine with not being anywhere in particular at the moment. My mind seems to wander between thoughts and it's nice to know that for once, I can focus on my thoughts and feelings rather than my workload or how many exams I have left, what I need to do tomorrow or how much time I don't have...

It's also ''just nice'' to be able to sit and listen to music by my favourite artists for ridiculously long periods of time and just listen to it and enjoy it, rather than use it as a coping mechanism like I seem to have done for most of 2010 so far. Don't get me wrong, I still pay perhaps too much attention to the lyrics, but I can just listen to it now, which is something I was quite bad at before. At the moment, I'm listening to Changes by Dima Bilan. It goes kinda like this:
"I’m going through changes
All the things I thought I knew
That I wanna hear with you feel wrong
And you know what’s strangest?
I think you feel the same
Don’t let guilt make you stay, it’s OK
Cause everything changes, changes, changes"
It's a particularly poignant song for me usually because of what I was going through when I first heard it. Tonight, I'm just listening to it without a care in the world and it's, well, just...nice. Just for the record, I am normally NOT this person. I normally am incapable of just relaxing. I dread to think what my future holds sometimes because I just get blinded by how busy I'm going to let myself become. To be honest, I LOVE being busy and having too much to do, because it gives me a sense of purpose. But, in reality, it's nice sometimes to feel like I do now...to kind of feel nothing and be OK with it.

I'm not even annoyed at anything (which is incredibly rare for me...) right now. It's actually a really odd feeling. I've sorted out the thing I was upset about when I posted about a week ago and I've moved on from it. It involved completely embarrassing myself and almost crying at a ridiculously inappropriate moment but hey, I did it, right?

Just before I go, while I'm on the subject of being busy/never relaxing and Dima Bilan...another of his songs is one of my absolute favourites because of these lines:
"As we keep rushing like crazy
Can we still see it's amazing
Between the sky and heaven?"
Maybe we should just stop sometimes and think about that. 'Cause when you think about it, even the hectic craziness is pretty amazing. If you ask me, we should just appreciate everything we have because one day it's going to be gone.

Besos ♥
Rachel