Let It Go

I love it when the simplest of things reminds me what life is really about. I can spend days and weeks getting wound up over things that, in the moment, feel really important to me - my laptop charger is broken, my dad is shouting at me for no reason again, status updates on Facebook are making me angry at people...

I guess sometimes it's perfectly normal to find yourself in that situation. If you lived your whole life without ever being annoyed or upset, you probably wouldn't be human. Life is about being happy and being sad and everything that falls in between, I know that, but I cannot help but want to keep myself grounded and with a good perspective on life.

This week, I have been letting that slip a little. I don't know...it's no excuse, but I think it has a lot to do with the fact that my mind isn't being kept occupied at all with no college at the moment. It's easy to get caught up in small dramas when you have nothing to focus on. I keep telling myself that I'll start up with the Swedish learning again but I'm just lacking in motivation. I think I've painted my nails three days in a row now and I spent a whole evening browsing jewellery online because my auntie Jude texted about what she wanted to buy for my 18th. Like I said, perspective...

So, last night I unplugged my laptop and brought it upstairs to my bedroom. I plugged it in and turned the plug on and the charger just stopped working. I turned the plug off then on again, removed the cable and put it back in again, took it out of my laptop and then replaced it, changed the cable for the alternative I have, everything - and nothing. Last time this happened my laptop just died instantly so I turned it off and continued trying to get it to work. Still nothing. My dad joined in, we tried it in several different plug sockets and more. Nothing again. We concluded that it was officially broken, and that I would need a new one. I was firstly annoyed because it meant I had nothing to do (I'd planned to catch up with my 'work in progress' songs list for on here) and secondly annoyed because it meant my parents having to spend money on a replacement. I was in a terrible mood and went to bed annoyed.

My grandad visited in the morning, we had a nice talk about Poland and he gave me €40 for France, which was brilliantly timed as I have a serious money flow at the moment, ha. The afternoon was spent hauling my laptop and charger around Wakefield city centre trying to find a replacement charger. We found one shop that sold them for £42 and my parents insisted we tried every other shop in Wakefield before going back to the first shop and purchasing one. I was just annoyed and ridiculously warm - because the sun only ever comes out after you're dressed and have left the house, doesn't it?

So, I'm back at home and enjoying my laptop working again. I'm working on several things for college magazine and end up going to my grandma's, where Photoshop just does not cooperate at all. Once again, annoyed. I manage to get it to function and go home, where I regain internet access. 

I have an email, one that I don't read straight away because I assume it's just a reply to an email I sent a few days ago. I listen to music while catching up with Eliza and Zoe online and inform Fern of the brilliant news that a teacher that made my life miserable for two years is retiring, and then I read the email at 11:44pm (yes, I have sleep issues).

I won't share the contents of it, but right when what I considered 'a bad day' was drawing to a close, along came the perspective I was looking for. No matter how many people and situations make you angry at life, it only takes one to remind you how lucky you are. All of those little annoyances, I'm letting them go and focusing on the things that matter. And I have a feeling it might take me a while to think up a good enough reply to that email :)

Besos ♥ 
Rachel

"When your hope has been denied you, I will walk beside you, carry on." - Ben's Brother - Carry On